Thursday, August 4, 2011


This is why I will adopt (with a slight revision)*:

Kate: So the nurse called and said I have to come in to get my cervix softened.

Me: Ewwww!  What does that even mean?

Kate: I don't know!

(Time passes)

Kate: Oh, I guess it just means they put some sort of pill up in there.

Me: Well, that's not as bad as I thought. I was picturing a tiny masseuse.

Kate: Ewwww!  Ha, what if I had shown up prepared for a spa day? Where are my cucumber slices, bitches?!

Me: What happens after that?

Kate: Well, if it turns out I'm "ripe" ---

Me: Ewwww!

Kate: I know!

Me: No offense, but you should go have a spa day. All this baby stuff is kind of vile.

Kate: You're telling me. Last time they told me about stripping membranes.

Both: Ewwww!

* Kate emailed me this afternoon to use the word "ripe" three times.  I can't believe I forgot about it the first time I posted this. Anyway, THINK RIPE THOUGHTS, PEOPLE!

(PS - Go enter the contest below, biotches.  Good deeds are nothing to sneeze at.  Good deeds PLUS the opportunity to get a $25 gift card, editing help from someone with mild OCD, or a MYSTERY PRIZE?  That's like philanthropic nirvana.)


  1. hehe that was too funny now when someone says the word "ripe" i'm gonna giggle

  2. oh man, the other day I had a conversation with my bf's aunt (who's pregnant) about how your abdominal muscles separate while pregnant. Gross. *shudder*

  3. Glad I didn't read this with my mouth full...But this is why I gave you a Liebster award on my blog -- 'cuz you make me laugh!