I just realized something magical

This is my first summer in two years when I haven't been studying for a bar exam.

I knew I had a special feeling about these coming months for a reason.

Happy Memorial Day people - cross your fingers that this summer is going to be a good one for all of us.

Reflections on the bar exam

So, I passed.

And I am delighted.

But I have one minor complaint.

Last summer, I studied my ass off.

This summer, I worked/studied my ass off ... and yes, the working part resulted in a lot less studying and a lot more panicking.  Some of you know.  You were on the receiving end of some very high-strung emails.  Literally, studied roughly 10% of what I did last summer.

And when I finished taking the bar, I legitimately felt like I was in danger of failing.










So after all that, color me a bit annoyed that my MBE score is only 1.2 points lower than it was last year.

Damn you Utah, and your unwillingness to take my previous score.  Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnnn yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuu!




(On the plus side, a perverse part of me now wants to waive into DC, Minnesota and North Dakota.  Just because I can.

I am very easily motivated by spite.)

You may leave the runway

(I wrote this post while I was waiting to find out if I failed or passed the Utah Bar.  I considered posting it before I found out the results, but it felt too much like tempting fate.  Also, I would never post on this blog ever again if I reminded you all that I had taken the bar, and then had to to admit I failed.)

Waiting to find out if you passed the bar is like being on Project Runway.  The other contestants (ie, everyone else in your life) have already found out that their scores have qualified them to move on to the next round.  Now you have to stand there, awkwardly, wondering if you're the genius who created a couture ballgown out of ten billion paperclips or the mouth breather who forced her model to go down the runway with Scotch tape covering her naughty bits. 

Candy ropes and breath mints?  Or corn husks?


(Well, I don't know about any of that, but I did pass.  :))

So, that's over with ...

I finished.

I don't really know if I passed.

Honestly, I think the test was pretty simple ... deceptively simple ... like a medical mystery on House that starts out looking like the common flu ... Nothing like the "Texas" Bar, which I found both tougher and more straight-forward.  Like common, but readily operable, cancer.

Anyway, if I passed, it will be a miracle.  But that means I will be one step closer to being canonized someday.

What?

That can be a goal.

Ever-evolving legal system

I hereby propose that the rules of evidence be amended as follows:

1. New exception to the character evidence propensity ban

Evidence of texting while driving on prior occasions may be admitted to show presence of drive-texting on occasion in question.

2. New hearsay exception

If you blog about texting while driving, such evidence shall be admitted both for purposes of impeachment and substantively to prove that you are a douche.

Well, here's a whole new low

When I got home tonight, I realized that I was out of clean dishes.  Unfortunately, I was super hungry and my dishwasher takes foreeeeeeeever.

So I covered my Barbri books with foil and ate off them. 

It worked surprisingly well.






(And it didn't occur to me until after writing this post that I could have taken a dirty dish out of the dishwasher and washed it by hand.)

I shouldn't admit this, BUT...

I love studying to The Hills.

It makes me feel so smart.

Conspicuous consumption

In case you ever wonder why people in impoverished countries both admire/resent Americans, look no further than your good internet friend Ru from Austin.

I now own TWO laptops.

Why?

Because my Macbook Pro, which I love more than I could love a human child (what?  Is that offensive?) has an outdated operating system.  I am planning to take the Utah bar in T-24 days.  In its infinite wisdom (and I say that with all due respect, Character and Fitness People), the Utah Bar chose to mandate Exam Soft for all bar-taking purposes, instead of the faaaaaaaaar superior Exam 4.  (Repeat: far superior.)  So I set out to update my Macbook (sweet, sweet Macbook) and then, wait a second, I also need Bootcamp?  And Windows 7?

Grumble grumble grumble.

So instead of buying a lot of stuff that I don't want for the computer I adore, I waddled (yes, waddled, all I've eaten during my study sessions have been chips, salsa and jelly beans) off to my local Best Buy and bought a brand new Toshiba PC,* preloaded with Windows 7.  IT WAS ACTUALLY THE CHEAPER OPTION.

But hey, at least I will have the fun adventure of posting a lightly used laptop on Craigslist next month. 



*Please don't be jealous, Macbook Pro.  Toshiba means nothing to me.  Nothing!**

** Please don't take that the wrong way, Toshiba, you're great too.  And I really need you to perform for me on July 27.  It's just that you and I are not meant to be.  I'm sure you will find the love you're looking for ... on Craigslist.

I just realized ...

I'm watching Legally Blonde while I study for the bar.

Elle Woods graduated in 2004.

She would be a 6th year associate right now.

Wowzers.

I'm the worst

I eat a lot of candy and drink even more Diet Coke when I'm studying.

And even though I'm the only one who eats my jellybeans, I still end up eating all the good flavors first, leaving only cinnamon, cream soda, Dr. Pepper and pear.

So tragic.

Rage ... building ...

I like to think of myself as a non-complainy neighbor.

But if the mothercussers above me don't stop operating a chop shop in their apartment, because THAT IS WHAT IT EFFING SOUNDS LIKE, I'm going to slice them up like fish. The aftermath is going to look like a scene from Boondock Saints or Kick-Ass. In other words, NOT PRETTY.

I may normally be sunny of spirit and squishy of abs, but seriously. Do not mess with a girl five weeks from the bar unless you want your living room to look like the beaches of Normandy.*





* OR, if you don't want to receive a sternly worded warning from the management after I call to complain.

Torts and Cougar Town

In case all of you aren't watching Cougar Town, I just want you to know - way funnier than you might expect.

Jules sends her ex-husband and best friend's husband over to the reclusive neighbor's house to get him to come to her BBQ:



Cougar Town on relationships:



And middle aged dudes being funny:




Oh Courtney Cox, Jordan from Scrubs, and the chick from Freaks and Geeks/Dawson's Creek ... how you get me through defenses to intentional torts.  Thanks, ladies.

This is how we do it

Bar studying update:

1. Thanks to a good friend by the name of Vogelerpants, I am back on track and am feeling a bit more confident in my ability to pass this test.

2. Once again, I find myself watching a lot of good and shameful TV while studying.  Last summer, Dexter (good) and True Blood (so, so shameful).  This summer, The Tudors (shameful, but not as shameful as True Blood) and Prison Break (good, but not as good as Dexter.)  I guess this means my taste is ... mellowing?

Whatever.  Bar studying brain.  I plan to use this excuse liberally in the next six weeks.

Ruh roh ...

I have read the outline on conflicts of laws twice, and I still have no idea what it's talking about.

Tag, you're it

No, this is not one of those annoying chain letter-esque posts.

I have decided to go back through my old posts and add tags for greater ease of reading.  I am 90-100% sure I am the only one who will find this exercise worthwhile, but on the 10-0% chance any of you readers out in Blogland would appreciate some short cuts to old posts, I've decided to waste some time I should be spending on studying for the bar.

We like Ciroc, we love Patron

Blog post title from a song about alcohol?

Pictures of booze?

Ruh roh ...

Looks like I'm studying for the bar again.

Up tonight: criminal procedure.  Let's hope two hours going over outlines will cut it, because I sure don't have the energy for more than that.

Day One. 

Ummmmm...

So when do I have to start studying for that bar thing?

Bar application fun

(I really know how to end 25 in style, huh?)

From my application for the Utah bar application:*

Have you ever been terminated, suspended, disciplined or permitted to resign in lieu of termination from any job?  If yes, please explain.


I was a tutor for a local junior high’s after-school study program when I was in high school.  During the winter of 2002, my high school drumline was invited to perform during the 2002 Winter Olympics and Winter Paralympic games.  After I rearranged my tutoring schedule to accommodate my performance schedule too many times, the program director called my parents and informed them that I had been fired.  I was never contacted by the program director directly about my termination and never disciplined or warned about my behavior prior to the termination.








* It may seem ridiculous, but they really do want to know.

Back in black

Got home last night. Went to bed. Slept 14 hours and woke up this morning.

To Do List:

Watch this week's Daily Shows

Find a job

Clean my car

Clean my room

... notice anything that's missing? Me neither. :)

Adventures in Tucson: Day 2

Guh.

The MBE was today.

And I started to feel sick - like, literally sick, not "making an excuse for failure in advance" sick, not "look-at-me-look-at-me-the-bar-is-so-hard-sick," but genuinely kind of nauseous - two hours into the morning session.

Went to Subway again with April. Diet Coke failed at settling my stomach - mwah??? My whole world just turned upside down.

Back at questionable hotel room (so grateful for hand sanitizer; so sad I didn't pack more), watching So You Think You Can Dance. It's pretty good ... but I wish I were (a) back in SLC, celebrating with all my other SJQ homies, or in the alternative, (b) watching something with plot, dialogue, or at least no screaming menopausal lady judge.