Wednesday, July 27, 2011

To be taken with a grain of salt*

So here's a pretty random complaint: hipster glasses.

Both my brothers (who actually need glasses) have some version of the hipster frame.  Charlie's are kinda Steve Urkel, Alpha's are more Buddy Holly.  Because they're a necessity, they bug me less.

But here's the thing.

If you were born circa-mid 80s, like I was, you probably remember the following trends:

Around 3rd or 4th grade, everyone started wearing ripped jeans and flannel shirts over tank tops.  Like Kurt Cobain.

Around 5th or 6th grade, everyone started wearing babydoll tees, platform shoes, knee socks, and mini backpacks.  Like Cher on Clueless.  If your parents were really dumb and you were a girl, you might have even gotten the Rachel haircut.  (Note: No child ever looks good with layers, much less high maintenance choppy layers.)

Junior high was all about middriff tops, baggy pants, and platform shoes.  Goth if you were edgy.  It was all very Buffy inspired, at least at my junior high. 

High school was super low slung jeans, skater shoes, one-sleeved tanks, and sparkles.  Like Britney Spears.  Goth if you were edgy, but it was more about the jackets and less about the makeup at that point.

College was trucker hats and sweatpants one year (Paris Hilton), peasant shirts and long dresses the next (Nicole Richie, post-Paris Hilton).  

Now, some ten years after high school, we're bringing Imaginary Vintage (TM) and hipster glasses into fashion. 

If you genuinely love looking like a Depression-era rich person (because no one during the Depression could actually afford that dress, even taking inflation out of the equation), the nerd from a John Hughes movie, or someone who is perpetually at a Bright Eyes concert, more power to you.  Embrace it.  Hey, I love kitsch as much as the next girl.

Just stop calling it "original," because like all those kids who "rebelled" in the EXACT SAME WAY in junior high and high school by wearing black, you are by no means unique.  You are just following the (still very popular) minority trend.

* Yes, I know the person who comes to work looking like a hobo is a less-than-credible source for fashion advice.  But I had to throw it out there anyway.


  1. Lol! Why do kids who dress all in black think they're expressing themselves in a unique way? It's not unique if others are doing it, too. So funny.

  2. So I'm not going to say I don't wear vintagey (not a word, I know) glasses. I wear them and love them, mainly because the bigger the frames, the bigger the lenses. Bigger lenses are easier to see out of and so much more comfy than teeny tiny ones.

    I also like grandma sweaters.

    I can't help it if the nerd look is in now. I promise you that I liked grandma sweaters and Buddy Holly glasses before everyone decided to like them.

  3. Emily - exactly

    Abby - totally nothing wrong with liking those things, many of them are cute. My beef is not with people who just like them, but those who insist that it's unique or original when it so obviously isn't. It's like me pretending that I'm the only one who loves Batman movies. Obviously lots of people love Batman movies, and that's fine. I'm still cool and so is Batman.

  4. You hit this right on.

    Now if only I could figure out a way to anonymously send a link to this post to a few select people I know...

  5. Great trend breakdown. I sincerely wish these Hipster Glasses would have been in style when I was in 5th grade and had a giant, then-unstylish, pair.

  6. Emilie - If I figure out a way to do that, I will definitely let you know. :)

    Alexis - ha, exactly. That would have been awesome.

  7. Wow. I feel old. You were in 5th grade when Clueless came out?

  8. My favorite is the trademark sign after "original vintage". Thank you. Came over here from karen's blog.

  9. Emilia - thanks for stopping by :)