Friday, November 13, 2009

The bitter barn

Last night I went to my sorority's Founder's Day, which is a celebration commemorating the founding of a greek-letter organization. (In my case, Tri Delta.)

As some of you may know, my sorority was shut down my senior year in college, right as I was graduating. There are about a million and one reasons to be furious about the action Tri Delta Nationals took regarding our chapter, none of which I particularly want to recount now.

What was frustrating to me -- and what will most likely be frustrating forever -- is the fact that some of my fellow Delta Delta Delta alums want to forgive and forget about that whole house-shutting-down thing.

Um ... no. Not going to happen. That's awesome if you can do that, but I can't.

And I don't want to talk about it.  And I don't want to hear about how you re-discovered the true spirit of sisterhood and the power of forgiveness.

Look, I know I joined Tri Delt for the sisterhood, not just the physical house. But I joined to be part of something lasting, not something that ended when I graduated from college. I want to go back and help with Rush. I want to send flowers on Bid Day. I want to donate money during Philanthropy week. I want to show up for Initiation if I'm in town. So don't lecture me about why I really joined -- I know why I joined, and it's not just so I can be an alum of a house that doesn't even exist at my alma mater anymore.

The fact that I will never, ever give another red cent to Tri Delta Nationals? Never going to change. The fact that I will never, ever think of "Nationals" the same way I think of my local chapter, or people from other local chapters? Nope, not that either.

So yeah, invite me to alum events. I want to maintain friendships, I want to keep raising money for children's cancer hospitals. I want to persue the (extremely unlikely) possibility of our house re-opening.

But don't try to make me leave the bitter barn. That's where I live now.

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