Monday, April 5, 2010

Why yes, I'd love to help some inbred radiated zombies

In vampire horror films,* it's traditional for there to be a human "thrall" who goes first to do some vampiric bidding.  The thrall is usually either magically enchanted by the vampires, or willingly doing vampire-bidding because he or she hopes to become a vampire as well.

If you've suspended enough disbelief to be watching a vampire movie in the first place, then you can accept the logic that humans might have their free will ensnared by the Dracula types, or that they could be so overcome by power-lust or straight-up-crazy that they would sneak into a little Alaskan town to steal all the radios prior to vampire invasion.  (See, e.g., 30 Days of Night.)

BUT -- may I ask -- what compels various gas station owners to point lost hippies/tourists/med students in the direction of cannibalistic hill people?  Think about it.  There's always a (relatively) normal in these kind of movies: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Wrong Turn, Deliverance, The Hills Have Eyes, etc.**

I can't imagine hill-people-bitch is a very glamorous job.  The hill folk probably don't engage in commerce, so payment would be an issue.  They probably won't share any of their delicious human harvest ... not that you'd even want any.  (Hopefully).  And while they do tend to be tough little buggers, I doubt they're much for peer pressure, so it's not like low self-esteem can be blamed.

Also ... could I have picked a nerdier thing to blog about?

Somehow I doubt it.

* Vampire HORROR films.  Not vampire romances.  This rule does not apply to Twilight etc.

** Speaking of all these, does anyone know why inbreeding (Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and exposure to radiation (The Hills Have Eyes) both result in goofy looking, super-strong cannibals?  Anyone?

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