So I decided to bake some cookies with my BRAND NEW KITCHENAID, wooo! (I know, I'm a clone.)
When Sandy visited me in Austin about six weeks ago, we made Lion House chocochip cookies. Of course, we had to divide everything by 7 because Lion House recipes are written with the unspoken understanding that you're planning to feed your husband and thirteen children with them. Despite the fact that some things just don't divide evenly (what exactly does 4/10 of a cup of butter look like?) they turned out basically amaz-balls.
I decided to make them again for my friends in the doc review room to munch on tomorrow at work. I busted out our modified recipe, threw all the stuff in the mixing bowl, and turned the sucker on for the VERY FIRST TIME. Woooo! (Kitchenaids require a lot of woooing.)
And then ...
I looked into the bowl and noticed that my dough wasn't exactly ... dough-y. It was more like lots of tiny little dough balls.
Hmmmm, thought I, as I glanced over at Project Runway playing in the background. I could call my mom and ask her what went wrong ... I could text Sandy and ask her opinion ...
OR I could take a page from the book of St. Gunn and just MAKE IT WORK.
So I added another egg. Now the dough is the right consistency ... but I am worried about the fact that there is kinda 100% more egg in my dough than there should be. So I throw in more flour. And brown sugar. And then some water and vanilla because I need more liquid.
And then I ... sort of ... have dough like the dough Sandy and I made. So I plop a test round on my cookie sheet and popped it in the oven.
After nine minutes, I pull out my cookies and realize they're kind of burnt on the bottom and doughy on top, and I conclude this is due to my black cookie sheet. So I reduce the heat in the oven from 350 to 325 and decide to increase my baking time by a few minutes. (Foreshadowing: This will not work.)
The second round of cookies turn out a little better, but a taste test reveals they have the consistency of cake ... and really, aren't all that sweet unless you bite into one of the chocochips. (PS - Thanks Sandy, you were right. The Ghiradelli chips were totally worth it.)
At this point I'm a little irritated, and decide to bust out both cookie sheets so I can get this baking exercise over with already. Then I burn my hand moving one of the baking racks. Because, you know, time in the kitchen with me is not complete without injury.
So now I'm waiting for the last batch of cookies to bake. They were supposed to take 8-10 minutes at 350. At 325, they're apparently taking a half hour.
Grrrr. The lawyers better appreciate this nonsense.*
* They will not appreciate this nonsense. Let's be honest ... these cookies aren't that great.