Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Personal qualities

So I'm watching the second hour of ... a show that shall remain unnamed ...  and I realized something.

People, when you describe yourselves, please feel free to throw around the details.  "I am honest," "I have a big heart and a lot of love to give," "I am passionate," "I love to have fun."  Seriously?  Everyone thinks they are honest, that they are loving, passionate and fun.  It would be more interesting to hear that someone thinks he or she is NOT honest, loving, passionate or fun.   Actually, an interesting thing about me is that I hate fun.  For reals.  It all dates back to my elementary school days ...

And on top of that, listing vague, self-congratulatory qualities is not the same as "opening up."  Admitting you have pooping problems is "opening up."  Please, people, let's all agree, it's best that some things remain a mystery.  While blogging is, almost by definition, about ego-boosting and over-sharing, I give you my solemn commitment that I only intend to fulfill my own need to continue writing on a semi-regular basis, and occasionally (hopefully) amuse.  

So in the spirit of under-sharing, here are ten, not-so-personal things about your friendly blogger:

  1. I love sleep.  Adore it.  Would take a nap every day if that were feasible.
  2. I am OCD about my nail polish.  Once it starts chipping, I must immediately repaint or chip all the rest off.
  3. I understand the rules of grammar (for example, I know that the previous sentence improperly ends in a proposition), but I just don't care.
  4. Along those same lines, I know the difference between an adjective (describes a noun) and an adverb (describes a verb), but tend to use them interchangeably.
  5. I hate, hate, hate repeating words in one sentence, paragraph or thought.  I do it all the time.  Whenever I re-read a blog post that says any word more than once, I have to fight the urge to go back and edit it forthwith.  (Note how I avoided saying "immediately" in an effort to not echo point number 2.)
  6. I am sincere in my actions, but completely insincere in my statements.  In general, 90% of everything I say/write should be taken with a heaping serving of salt.
  7. Every time I walk up or down stairs, I think, "Don't fall and break your teeth."  After seeing American History X, that thought also extends to curbs.  
  8. I love raspberry Creme Savers.
  9. I am indecisive over both big and little things.  Please don't rush me when trying to pick out an ice cream flavor.
  10. I hate puns.  Cannot emphasize this enough.  

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