Thursday, June 23, 2011

home improvement life lesson #3

List all the things you are planning to fix, change, tweak, or improve.

Now rank them in order of how big a disaster it would be if everything on that particular project went wrong.

Then do them in that order.

While it probably won't make "sense" to your contractor, at least you won't run into the problem of having someone declare your hardwood floors "impossible" four days before your move date, at which point you will discover that Plan B (hire new, more expensive, less idiotic person who specializes in hardwood floors) will take a little over a week to refinish the floors and Plan C (hire new, even MORE expensive non-idiot who specializes in hardwood floors) a MONTH to replace the hardwood floors.

Additionally, it may be important to ask yourself, "Self, are we planning to throw an elaborate baby shower at the new house in three weeks? And have the invitations already been printed and mailed?  Because if you have, it may be unreasonable to ask your guests to sit on unfinished subfloor."

As an added bonus, if you follow my advice, you won't have to ponder your oh-so-awesome alternative housing arrangements in the meantime, namely showering at the gym at work and sleeping under your desk, or becoming Queen of the Hobos -- carrying your expensive shoes in a grocery bag over your shoulder, using your framed law degree to provide shelter from the elements, and beating off punk kids intent on poaching your DVD collection with a Wii nunchuk. 

Because if you followed my advice above, you will have discovered your hardwood floor problem a month ago, back when you still had time and money to make a good decision.

1 comment:

  1. To be clear, the contractor has actually done a really good job on the new bathroom - but the fact that he insists the hardwoods are "impossible" to fix when they obviously aren't (based on the recommendations of two independent hardwood specialists) frustrates me a lot. In two-hour hindsight, I kind of regret the "non-idiotic" word choice, as I meant the situation and the contractor's conclusion was idiotic, not the contractor himself.

    Eh, you live, you learn. Praise Allah that I am positive he will never find this blog.