Wednesday, January 2, 2013

What resolutions?? TIME TO RANT

Hey, don't you all worry. I plan to post some resolutions soon, mostly just to keep me honest as I try to fulfill them. But I figure, why not start 2013 off right -- by losing some followers?

I'll be honest, in the last few weeks, I've had an idea or two for a post, and then said, "Self, this is a poor choice. Why would you write that? You think it's funny, but you think a lot of things are funny that actually offend and annoy others. Keep that one to yourself." I don't know if that's a sign of growing cowardice, or growing maturity, but there you are.


I have something that I absolutely MUST share. Or my head will explode. (And I really need to get some stuff done this January, and a lot of it involves my head.)

So just a forewarning: If you have done the thing I am about to mention, bless your heart. I'm not talking about you, specifically, but rather a greater trend I have noticed on these here Interwebs. I have nothing against you, personally, but rather, a vague and persistent beef with the following behavior:

My new favorite adulthood activity is logging on to Facebook or Twitter the day after a major, universally acknowledged holiday where PARTYING is a signature feature of said holiday, and finding out which of my friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and foes thinks that now that they have procreated, the rest of the world should STOP PARTYING.

Ugh, the trick-or-treaters ringing the doorbell kept little Janie up until 10! :(

Fireworks on the 4th of July???? Really??? I'd like to send my fussy baby down to spend an evening with whoever planned THAT ONE.

 I know it's New Years Eve, people, but did you really have to whoop and holler at MIDNIGHT last night?

The 2013 stats? No fewer than SEVEN people on my friends list apparently think that, due to their one child, the rest of us need to give up New Years Eve.


People, if you are reading this, and you happen to be a parent, I need to you stop for a moment now and ponder: Am I guilty of parental-narcissism? If so, please commit to making a life change today. No one is saying it isn't inconvenient to soothe a fussy baby after he/she/it was awoken by the sounds of cheering and supermarket poppers, but if the entire industrialized world thinks that on this one particular evening, late-night cheering and popping is permissible, then perhaps you ought to just suck it up. Like diapers and diminishing disposable income, having a crappy evening here and there is just part of the package you accepted when you popped out a kid. Learn to live with consequences.

Hint: For future reference, it is always permissible to just hire a babysitter on holidays, and then you can be one of the hollering, popper firing, shrill giggling, fireworks admiring revelers yourself. WIN WIN!


  1. Look, I get what you're saying. Really I do. And I've been the person annoyed by parents for thinking the world revolves around their child. But I think people can still be considerate in their festivities. My son was born during that gawdawful month of July when it's legal to have fireworks the whole month in the fine state of Deseret. I'm not a killer of fun. I like fireworks. But not at literally any hour of the night and not for a whole month. I would have been annoyed with my drunken neighbors for shooting off fireworks on a day of no significance at 3 AM even if I didn't have a newborn. Yes, I was significantly pissed the night my kid kept getting woken up by fireworks that went off sporadically all night--and it wasn't either the 4th or 24th. It was inconsiderate. A partier's right to party doesn't surpass the rights of all those around them.

    If this makes me a narcissist and a killer of frivolity, then those are titles I'll have to bear with equanimity. Parents do tend to take themselves too seriously, tough.

    1. For future reference, if things get out of hand again next July, call the police and file a complaint. Fireworks being legal doesn't negate all other laws - disturbing the peace, sound ordinances, etc. (EG - Just because a liquor law might be loosened does not mean people get to drive intoxicated. The drunk driving laws are still in force -- so are the sound ordinances.)

    2. That last word was meant to say though, not tough. :)

  2. If we single, non-parents have to deal with their crying babies on our flights and in our restaurants and everywhere else, then I feel a couple nights of them having to deal with us being noisy is a fair deal for all involved.

    1. Respectfully, the verbiage of your post is telling. "Your flights" and "your restaurants"? Sorry, sir. They're not. I understand it's frustrating to have to talk loudly over the screams of an angry toddler, or listening to a kid with sore ears cry on a flight. The onus of good parenting still applies to mitigate the situation.

      It seems as if people who no longer have or never want or simply don't have children believe they should never interact with, be inconvenienced by, or affected in any way by children. Sorry, folks. Kids are part of society, too.

  3. Ru, I wouldn't have just observed these status updates, I would have commented, in fact I did. My friend had a baby a couple of years and Halloween night, she made a status at about 10pm about how some teenagers had walked past her house, obviously drunk and they were a little loud.

    So, she makes this status about how they 'almost' woke the baby. I had to point out that only a year or so ago, she was doing the exact same thing.

  4. I am unapologetic in being that person. But that's the deal, I hated loud fireworks and loons before I was a parent. Soooooo, all is fair. I consider my role in public education penance. Nothing humbles a would-be narcissist faster than a snarky teen.


  5. Amen!

    I don't have kids, but I'm also not a partier. But it's New Year's Eve and people are gonna party. Everyone just needs to calm the heck down.

  6. Crap. I think I might be worse than those parents. I have two CATS. Who freak the crap out at fireworks. So, I'm the one all over Facebook and Twitter those nights complaining throughout July and on New Year's Eve. Because of cats. This realization disturbs me.

  7. We dropped the wee one off at her grandparents' house and partied with friends til midnight. I immediately feel asleep afterward, but I can't begrudge a good partay.

    (That said the neighbors that kept the party going loud and proud until 3:30 were kind of obnoxious).

    1. Yeah ... 3:30 is kind of pushing it. But good call on utilizing the gparents!

  8. I'm always ready for an encore from Ru. Well put!