Hey, don't you all worry. I plan to post some resolutions soon, mostly just to keep me honest as I try to fulfill them. But I figure, why not start 2013 off right -- by losing some followers?
I'll be honest, in the last few weeks, I've had an idea or two for a post, and then said, "Self, this is a poor choice. Why would you write that? You think it's funny, but you think a lot of things are funny that actually offend and annoy others. Keep that one to yourself." I don't know if that's a sign of growing cowardice, or growing maturity, but there you are.
I have something that I absolutely MUST share. Or my head will explode. (And I really need to get some stuff done this January, and a lot of it involves my head.)
So just a forewarning: If you have done the thing I am about to mention, bless your heart. I'm not talking about you, specifically, but rather a greater trend I have noticed on these here Interwebs. I have nothing against you, personally, but rather, a vague and persistent beef with the following behavior:
My new favorite adulthood activity is logging on to Facebook or Twitter the day after a major, universally acknowledged holiday where PARTYING is a signature feature of said holiday, and finding out which of my friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and foes thinks that now that they have procreated, the rest of the world should STOP PARTYING.
Ugh, the trick-or-treaters ringing the doorbell kept little Janie up until 10! :(
Fireworks on the 4th of July???? Really??? I'd like to send my fussy baby down to spend an evening with whoever planned THAT ONE.
I know it's New Years Eve, people, but did you really have to whoop and holler at MIDNIGHT last night?
The 2013 stats? No fewer than SEVEN people on my friends list apparently think that, due to their one child, the rest of us need to give up New Years Eve.
People, if you are reading this, and you happen to be a parent, I need to you stop for a moment now and ponder: Am I guilty of parental-narcissism? If so, please commit to making a life change today. No one is saying it isn't inconvenient to soothe a fussy baby after he/she/it was awoken by the sounds of cheering and supermarket poppers, but if the entire industrialized world thinks that on this one particular evening, late-night cheering and popping is permissible, then perhaps you ought to just suck it up. Like diapers and diminishing disposable income, having a crappy evening here and there is just part of the package you accepted when you popped out a kid. Learn to live with consequences.
Hint: For future reference, it is always permissible to just hire a babysitter on holidays, and then you can be one of the hollering, popper firing, shrill giggling, fireworks admiring revelers yourself. WIN WIN!