Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Well, shucks

Oscar Sparrow nominated me for a Kreativ Blogger Award, ain't that sweet? As part of that award, I have to tell you 10 things you probably don't know about me.  I'm also supposed to pick 10 people to give it to, but when I get overwhelmed with work, I get overwhelmed with decisions, which means the thought of picking 10 of the many fantastic blogs I read, follow, and/or stalk to highlight gives me a headache.  AWARDS FOR EVERYONE!

1. I want to visit India. The trick is apparently finding a travel buddy. Everyone wants to go to Paris, no one wants to go to Mumbai.

2. I really hate texting. A subset of that hatred is the "hey" text -- when someone tries to initiate a conversation with the word "hey" and sometimes nothing else.  But even more than that?  I hate the "hey [adjective or sometimes noun]" text.

In the last two weeks, a guy has tried to initiate conversation with me by texting the following:

"Hey cutie!"

"Hey hot stuff!"

"Hey cutie"

"Hey cutie"

"Hey gorgeous!"

And last night when I logged on to Facebook, an IM that said, "Hey sexy."

Just ... gross.

Fortunately for this kid, I do believe there's a lid for every pot out there, so all he has to do is find a girl who is easily flattered and enjoys really tiny conversations.

3. Despite sharing a few horror date stories, I mostly prefer to keep to myself about my various romantic misadventures. While the goal is to find a guy who fits into my group of friends and family, I don't especially want to have to talk to them about him.

4. I am terrible at setting people up, but the one exception is after someone moves to a different state.  Then suddenly I realize that he/she is perfect for her/him, and why can't I ever figure that out while people live in the same area code?

5. I hate mushrooms and barely tolerate tomatoes. My parents predicted my entire life that I would grow out of these hatreds -- nope. But I did grow out of my hatred of hummus, so that's something.

6. I am afflicted with what my family lovingly calls "Lassie Complex," ie SOMEONE-FELL-DOWN-A-WELL???-CAN-I-HELP?-CAN-I-HELP? complex.

So you know, when I say I went to law school because I wanted to "help people," it's true.  I pathologically want to help people.

I'm considering seeing a therapist about it.

7. Despite being Mormon, it really bugs me when Mormons-in-their-Mormon-capacity show up at my door, unannounced. This has nothing to do with being Mormon per se, and everything to do with having a Mormon purpose.

Random Mormon coming for a friendly (previously announced) visit?  Fine.

Mormon coming over (usually unannounced) to get all Mormon up in my grill? Less than appreciated.

And for the record, I do apply the same standard to myself. So when I am assigned to bring someone (usually a stranger) cookies for church because their hair got over-processed at the salon, I drop those cookies with a nice note on the porch and run like a bandit.

8. I would totally go on The Bachelor for the vacations.  And if the producers asked me to cry my eyes out in the reject limo in exchange for a free trip to Costa Rica, I would whip out my Vicks Vapo Rub  and blubber like a champ.

I have no shame when it comes to vacations.

9. I want a pocket pig.  In fact, I would pay an obscene amount of money for a pocket pig, and am considering fencing my backyard for the sole purpose of buying one this summer.

10. I hate lists so bad that this post was delayed three days because I couldn't think of a Number 10.


  1. Ten things? Huh, I had to do six.
    That pocket pig is so, so adorable. I can see why you want one.

  2. India, Ireland and Israel are my top three destinations to visit. I have a thing for countries begining with the letter "i".

    There really are few things more annoying that the un-announced Mormon visit. I personally have a grudge against the entire home-teacher thing because it feels like the friendship equivlent of an arranged marriage. I don't want these people to be my friends, I can make my own friends, and if I need something those are the people I am going to call.

  3. Okay, you made me chuckle. The Mormon getting up in your grill. Ru, you need to get out of Utah!

  4. Congrats on your award. And who wouldn't want to go India? The history, and the architecture. Such a beautiful country, though, like any country there are some places I wouldn't want to rest my bottom.

  5. I know it's a poisoned chalice to get these awards. I only did it cos I love your comedy and honest approach. Thanks for this post - it's a classic.

  6. I WANT A POCKET PIG TOO! It's my life's goal to get one and name it Petunia. No joke.

  7. The pocket pig kept playing tricks on my eyes, and for a while (that is, until I read your description of it) I thought it was some sort of baby alien.

  8. Hey! I gave you that award, too! Not that I told you or anything.... Fun list.

  9. 1. I would love to go to India as someone's travel buddy, but have approximately $0.

    2. I also hate texting, but my most loathed text is "ok." What a pointless reply.

    3. I also hate the Mormon visits, but not because they are unannounced (minor inconvenience). I don't like them because these people have made no effort to know who I am as a person before deciding it's a good idea to stop by and preach at me for 10 minutes.

  10. I know! Why is it so hard to convince people to travel to the really cool places??

    And that pig is dang cute.

  11. Get buddy buddy with someone who works at an airline. I have a few friends who LOVE travelling,and India is on their lists. Some of them have been there a few times. And they're pretty cool peoples, I'd travel with them if I didn't have kids that were too young to leave for a week or three.

    I'm with you on the Mormon visits. I refused to answer the door for my visiting teachers for 2 years because I specifically asked to NOT have them for reasons that had nothing to do with them, I just couldn't handle having to host someone in a home that wasn't mine, and when I'm home with my kids, I want to spend time with my KIDS.

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  13. I would also totally go on the bachelor for the vacations. Though I don't actually know how to make myself cry on command. This is something I'm studying.