SOUP!

I'm not much of a cook, so when things turn out right, I have to share.  If you're looking for some tasty, probably unhealthy, fairly easy to prepare sustenance in these chilly autumn months, let me recommend the following BEER CHEESE SOUP!  Mmmmmm.  I made it for the dad and bros and they loved it.

Well, my dad and I loved it.  The brothers grunted, which I interpreted as love.

(Now, if only I had some really arty pictures so someone would Pinterest the shenanigans out of my blog ...


Just kidding.)

I got this recipe online and then tweaked it a little (due to some previous mishaps with soup, and also some failure on my part to plan ahead for the correct ingredients).  Here's the altered version, since that's what I made, with instructions:

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups diced carrots
• 1 cup diced onion
• 1 1/2 cups diced celery
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon hot pepper sauce (And perhaps some more, depending on your preference -- I threw in some more Franks Red Hot at the end.)
• 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• a dash of black pepper (In my book, a "dash" is three cranks on the pepper shaker.)
• 2 cups chicken broth
• 1 bottle of beer (I used Diego's last Corona -- sorry Diego -- but I think any beer should do.)
• 1/3 cup butter
• 1/3 cup flour
• 4 cups milk
• 6 heaping cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese (WARNING: Do not buy pre-shredded cheese. Buy a block of cheese and grate it yourself. Pre-shedded cheese is usually coated with something so it won't clump together in the bag, which means getting it to melt into the soup is a nightmare.)
• 1 tablespoon spicy brown mustard
• 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon dry mustard

Directions:

1. In a large saucepan over medium heat, stir together chopped carrots, onion, celery, and garlic. Pour in chicken broth and beer, add  hot pepper sauce, cayenne pepper, salt, and pepper. Simmer until vegetables are tender but still a little crunchy, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat.
2. Heat butter in a large soup pot over medium heat. Stir in flour with a wire whisk for about 3 or 4 minutes. Gradually stir in milk, whisking to prevent scorching, until thickened. (Mine never looked all that thick, but I think that's OK.) 
3. Turn heat down to low and gradually stir in shredded cheese.  Stir until all the cheese is melted into the milk mixture.
4. Stir veggie mixture into cheese mixture. Stir in spicy brown mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and dry mustard. Adjust for hot pepper sauce. Bring to a simmer and cook 10 minutes.
5. Serves 8. Buy some bread bowls if you feel all fancypants, which I did.

The creeper has been creeped out

Here's an embarrassing confession: Sometimes I decide that I would be friends with someone before I've ever met them. Knowing that it is extremely unlikely I will ever meet them.

For the sake of clarity, I'll just admit that I've got one person in mind as I make this weird revelation, and yes, this person is kinda-sorta a celebrity.  Which, yes, I know makes me a major weirdo.

(Does it help knowing that even if I told you who this person was, you would most likely not recognize her name and be forced to google for her identity, which is seriously like K-list it's so low?  I'd like to think it would.

Of course, I would then lose all the ground I had just gained by promptly admitting that I'd like to marry this person's brother, since then we'd be sisters-in-law.  CREEPY.)

Anyway, this person popped back in my radar recently in the most random way imaginable, and of course I took the opportunity to wonder if she (or her ridiculously attractive brother) were on Facebook.  And like everyone else on the planet, THEY WERE.

And that's when I found out she has a little pup.

And that pup is a SPENCER CLONE.

Seriously.  I stared at a few pictures of this girl (who I'm sure I'd be friends with if we were to ever meet) and her dog, which looks like a skinnier version of my dog.  Down to the freckles.

I gotta be honest ... part of me wondered if in an alternate universe, she secretly thinks I would be friends with her.

Warm Fuzzies and NaNo updates

For week 2 of the Warm Fuzzies blogfest, we're sharing some pictures and songs that go along with our current WIP.

Since mine is currently a mishmash of ideas, this challenge is a bit of a toughie,  but I'll give it my best shot.

And a NaNoWriMo update ...

My name is FakeNameJane if you want to "friend" me or whatever, I'd like to know what everyone's up to.  My story genre is young adult contemporary, but it sadly won't include any country-rapping (despite any ideas that video may have given you).  And while I'm normally not an outliner, I am giving that a shot for the first time ever since I think it will be fun to try to do things in a new way.  (Ahem, "fun.")

Last but not least - I haven't entirely figured out the word count widget on the NaNoWriMo page, but see that little blue bar down there?  Waaaaay down there and over on the right side of your screen?  That one will hopefully be pretty accurate at all times this month.

the fabulous world of online dating

Tell me if any variation of the following sounds familiar:

I like to stay in shape and have a lot of respect for people that also have the discipline to make that a priority in their lives.

Because I see it constantly on guys' profiles out in online dating world. 

Tell me if you think it would be ok for me to write the following:

"I like to make a lot of money and I have a lot of respect for people that also have the discipline to make the dolla-dolla bills a priority in their lives." 

Probably not, am I right?

Gentlemen, just a few thoughts.


1. If you want to write "No fatties," just write "no fatties."  You're not sounding less shallow because you fancied it up; in fact, you kind of sound worse.  Refer to Point 2 for an explanation.

2. A "priority"?  Seriously, a priority?  When I think of my "priorities," they include family, friends, Spence, my job, keeping up my house, saving money, reading, writing, traveling, volunteer work, cultural experiences ... the list goes on.  Nowhere on that list will you find GOING TO THE GYM.  But neither will you find NAPPING or WASHING MY HAIR or IRONING or OIL CHANGES.  Why?  

Because those things aren't priorities for anyone normal--they are things you just do.  If you're confused about this, please google the word "priority."  Or go watch Keeping the Faith and focus on the scene where Ben Stiller and Edward Norton explain that "jogging is not a skill."


I could go on and on about other funny things I've seen on profiles (like the guy with immaculately sculpted facial hair who declared he was looking for a woman who was "exceptionally intelligent and physically stunning" -- enough said), but I should probably work on this "NaNoWriMo" thing I signed up for.


Because I start a lot of projects and I have a lot of respect for people who have the discipline to make starting projects a priority in their lives.

"Stuck in Neutral"

As part of the Dark YA Blogfest, I am recommending all of you run out and get a copy of Stuck in Neutral by Terry Trueman.

Why? Charming main character, check. Terrifying conflict, check.

Shawn McDaniel suffers from a severe form of cerebral palsy.  He can't speak or control any of his muscles, but despite that, he has a fully functioning brain and is aware of the world around him.  He loves his siblings and parents, even though he can't hug them or let them know he understands them. He suffers from seizures that look terrifyingly painful, but to Shawn are actually kind of like being high. So even though his life is extremely limited, he enjoys it.

But when he's fourteen years old, Shawn begins to suspect that his father is thinking of mercy-killing him.

Go. Read it. You won't regret it..

A day late and a dollar short

As usual,  I've come up with my best ideas for Halloween costumes on November 1st. But these I think are pure gold.

Now, part of my paranoid brain worries that some of you out there might steal them 363 days from now, but so long as (1) you acknowledge that witty girl on the Internet who gave you the idea and (2) none of us go to the same parties next year, I don't mind one little bit.  Enjoy!

Napoleon Blownapart

(due credit to Diego)

Take a regular Napoleon costume -- rip out one side, insert fake guts.

Genghis Khanman

Take regular Genghis Khan costume -- add cheesy plaid sports coat and pornstache.

Mary Queen of Skanks

(due credit to Diego) 

It's going to take some doing to make sure you're not lumped in with the "slutty princess" crowd.  Therefore, you need as an authentic-as-possible Mary Queen of Scots costume BEFORE you slut-it-up.

Felon of Troy

This requires more sewing - get white-and-black stripe (or bright orange) fabric, make a Grecian gown. Add handcuffs for full effect. 

George Washington Redskins Fan

Add Redskins jersey and foam finger. At this point, isn't it getting a bit self-explanatory?

Any other suggestions?

reevaluating childhood memories

Last night was Halloween, as you all know, and my first as a "grown up."

See, I don't think you experience adult Halloween until you're the person giving away your own candy.  And I have to say ... it didn't go well.

I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from work only to find the shelves stripped bare.  I clutched the remaining six bags I could find (two packages of Laffy Taffy, one package each of Butterfingers, Reeses, Baby Ruths, and tropical Starburst.  And not the Starbursts that come two-to-an-individualized wrapper.  Regular Starburst.  I was desperate.) 

Of course, this grossly underestimated the amount of children my house would receive, and around 7:45, I found myself running to a different grocery store to replenish my stash.  (And this was after dumping a box of granola bars and Fruit Roll Ups I found in our cupboards into the bowl.)

This grocery store wasn't much better off, but I got two bag of Crunch bars, a fistful of Airheads, and ... wait for it ...

A bag each of York Peppermint Patties and Werther's Originals. 

Old lady candy. 

Suddenly I find myself very sympathetic to those jerks who handed me a single tiny Tootsie roll as a child. Literally, at one point I considered, "Should I start handing out warm cans of Diet Coke?"

So all around, a very illuminating Halloween.

PS, the best costume I saw?  Four-year-old girl as Steve Jobs.  Black turtleneck, round glasses, and an iPhone was all it took.

Tune back in tomorrow for Round Two of Halloween Wrap Up ... ALL THE COSTUMES I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF LAST WEEK!