I is for I don't think that means what you think it means

Ever seen an endorsement for a book that reads something like this ...?

Read Sally's book! She's the bomb!

Read Bob's book! He's so great, and there's no way he wrote something bad!

I want to read BOOK by Katie because there's no way it's not as awesome as she is!

...
...
...

Here's the thing. I understand the reasoning behind such endorsements. If I am ever published, I plan the shill the hell out of myself, and enlist all my friends and family in the same. I suspect some of those endorsements will sound like, "Buy my friend Ru's book! She's so funny/has shiny hair/pays her taxes, you won't regret it."

On some level, that sort of positive word-of-mouth is inevitable.

But friends, being a good person does not mean you produced a good book. This goes back to my previous post about authors who think any criticism of their work is a criticism of them.

Good people write bad books. Bad people write good books. People who reject traditional notions of morality write good, bad, and mediocre books.

So let's save the Good Person = Good Book false equivalency for siblings and elderly relatives, ok?

H is for ... "Have you heard about ...?"

One funny thing, one hopeful thing.

I may be the last person on the planet to find this little gem, but if you're into Jane Austen, check out The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, an online adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. (Lizzie's a grad student! Jane's a fashion intern! Darcy runs a digital media company! Kitty is actually a cat!)

The girl playing Lizzie can be ... a bit much, initially. But she grows on you. Stick it out for a couple episodes, you'll see what I mean.

Now for the hopeful thing.

Many of you may read Robin Ambrose's blog and may have already heard about this, but David Farland's son Ben was recently in a long boarding accident that left him severely injured. The family doesn't have any medical insurance and Ben's medical bills may reach into the million dollar range.

Robin and some other writers are organizing a book bomb for Ben. Basically, a book bomb is when everyone buys a book during the same 24 hour period, hopefully driving that book into Amazon or Barnes and Noble's Top 100 Best-Seller List for that day. More people are then able to see the book, and they buy it too.

Ben's dad David has written a lot of great books, but the two books we're focusing on tomorrow are Million Dollar Outlines (nonfiction about writing craft) and Nightingale (young adult fantasy). From noon on Wednesday, April 10th, until noon on Thursday, April 11th, if you could buy one or both of these books, it would really help Ben and his family. And I've heard they're awesome, so that's a win-win!

See Robin's blog for more details.

F is for feminism, G is for genre

F is for FEMINISM

Because feminism is the bomb, and for some reason it’s still getting a bum rap in 2013. Guess what, folks? We don’t live in a perfect world. We do live in a world that can get better, and that includes better for all the ladies. (Imagine that. We are part of the us.) (And guess what else? When life gets better for women, it usually gets better for men too! Because quality of life is not a zero-sum game.)

Something that frustrates me to no end is people who don't understand that I can support feminist issues in America ... and other issues. ("There are starving children in Africa! Women are still getting stoned in Afghanistan!) 

I know. And I believe that as a feminist who supports the legal, economic, and social equality of women, I care just as much about women in the U.S. who aren't getting paid fairly for their labor, and women in Romania who get substandard medical care.

There are a lot of causes that need help and a lot of them are interrelated. And we can care about and work for all of them! 

Think poverty and feminism. Internationally, I think it's pretty obvious the two are related. (Recommended reading: The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman: "... though climate, natural resources, and geography all play roles in why some countries are able to make the leap to industrialization and others are not, the key factor is actually a country's cultural endowments, particularly the degree to which it has internalized the values of hard work, thrift, honesty, patience, and tenacity, as well as the degree to which it is open to change, new technology, and equality for women.")

Domestically, it's also an issue. Single mothers are the demographic most likely to live in poverty. There goes that myth of the welfare queen/evil ex-wife living off child support. Turns out, that lifestyle is not terribly glamorous. Research on the feminization of poverty finds that 2/3 of those who live in poverty are women, despite only making up 1/2 the population. If you've read Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, you may recall that one of the indicators of a child's academic success was the child's mother's level of education.

It's the circle of life, folks. We get better, or worse, together.

So if you're a feminist, wootie woot for you! 

And if you think you're not, maybe consider why you aren't. I suspect that if you asked yourself, "Do I support the legal, economic, and social equality of women?" the answer is probably, "Yes." (Guess what? You're a feminist.) If the follow up thought is, "But I don't like to 'label' myself, or associate myself with something that has so many negative connotations."

In which case I'd just ask you, should Christians just stop calling themselves Christians because they don't want to be associated with the Westboro Baptist Church?

G is for GENRE

I read in all genres. I have ideas in all genres. I tend to write romantic comedies, mystery, and horror – though I’ve realized that romantic comedies come most easily to me. 

As a currently unpublished, unagented writer, I can write whatever I want because no one has expectations of me. But I imagine that, if this little pipedream of mine ever works out, I may have to reign myself in, at least as far as publication goes.

What about you? Do you have particular genres you love? Any you hate? Any you pretend you know what they are, even though you sorta don't? (Cough, steampunk, cough.)

E is for echo-chamber

There is a rule of thumb out there in Blogland that says if you’re an unpublished writer, you don’t get to criticize … well, pretty much anything.

Everything is “be nice” or an unspoken “or else.” If you didn’t like a book, keep it to yourself. (If you did like a book, however, BY ALL MEANS review it to the moon and back!) Apparently, if you ever want to be an author yourself, your identity as a reader with discerning taste just evaporates.

Recently, I read three different self-published books. I specify self-published in this instance mainly because self-published books rely more heavily on word-of-mouth for their marketing—which, for some people, makes a negative review seem less objective and more vindictive.*

The first self-published book I’ll call ARISTOPHANES. It had clearly defined, compelling characters. The plot was simple, but believable. It was funny, sexy, and the writing flowed. I would happily recommend it to others.

The second self-published book I’ll call ROCKY BALBOA. It had one-dimensional characters. The male romantic lead was one part Manic Pixie Dream Boy, two parts cliché Bad Boy With A Heart of Gold. The plot, such that it was, had plot holes you could drive a truck through. And there were some messages embedded in the novel that, frankly, I found pretty appalling.  

But the writing, itself, was actually pretty good. I found myself wanting to finish the book, to see if it got better, to see if it got worse

The third I’ll call JUST SHOOT ME. The writing was weak. The characters were paper thin. The plot was practically non-existent. The sexy-time scenes actually made me laugh out loud once – and I can only assume that wasn’t the goal. The messages presented were good, but handled awkwardly and obviously, which is almost worse than a bad message. Worst of all, it was boring.

ARISTOPHANES, ROCKY BALBOA, and JUST SHOOT ME don’t have a lot in common, except they were all self-published. The quality of these three books is, in my opinion, wildly different.

But if you were to read their reviews on blogs, Amazon, or Goodreads, you wouldn’t have much idea that anyone shares my opinion. There have been a few people on Goodreads who have noticed, and pointed out in greater detail, the issues I have with ROCKY BALBOA. No one seems to have the same issues I have with JUST SHOOT ME, but then again, there are a lot fewer reviews -- so either I am off-base, or there are a lot of readers holding their tongues. But for the most part, you’d think they were OMGAMAZEBALLS.

Weirdly, this almost makes ARISTOPHANES look ... less good by comparison.

I mean, yes, the reviewers gushed over it. They also gushed over some fairly terrible books. What does their opinion mean to me, the consumer?

Nothing.

Do you think there is any way for an aspiring author to give an honest review, AND attach his or her name to it? Have you noticed the same phenomenon I've noticed? Or do you think this concern is overblown?






* This, to me, is the problem with all reviews. Notice that, although my critique is harsh, I haven't said anything about the aforementioned books' authors, because as personally as people take their own writing, to call a plot "weak" or "unbelievable" is not the same thing as calling an author "dumb."

Do I think ROCKY BALBOA is a bad book? Yes. But that doesn't mean I think the person who wrote ROCKY BALBOA is especially a bad author. He/she might be a very good author who wrote one bad book. It happens! In fact, I recently read two books by the SAME author, and I thought one was great and one was just so-so. Wacky how that works!

And yet, you hear now and then about writers who read a review that says, "The book wasn't great" and turn into "Your mom is a smelly pirate hooker" (Name the reference!) in their minds. 

Everyone.

Take it down a notch with the "artistic temperament" thing.

D is for declining to post today

What? That's not against the rules.

Really, I'm pretty sure there aren't rules.

C is for critiquing

Here is what my financial future looks like at the moment:

1. Potential dog brain surgery ($X,XXX)*

2. Almost-certain main sewer line retrofitting ($XX,XXX)

3. I-wish-I-could kitchen remodeling ($XX,XXX)

Let's just say, vacation prospects aren't looking good for 2013. To say the least.

When you already live a relatively frugal lifestyle (my indulgences include eating out, the occasional moderately priced cardigan, and vacations), it's hard to know what you ought to cut out. Once you eliminate Cafe Rio, H&M, and road trips, what is left to axe?

Cable? Don't have it.

Fancy cell phone plan? Don't pay for one.

$1,500 a day Faberge egg habit? (Name the reference!)

As I ponder what I could do to make up the difference between What I Need and What I Have, the thought occurs to me ... hey, remember that writing thing you do that you currently don't make any money from?

Could I possibly find a way to make money from that?

So I’m putting it out there – starting in May, if there is any interest, I will be offering editing and critiquing services.

Qualifications:
Section and copy editing experience (May 2005 - May 2006)
Textbook editing (September 2007 – April 2009)
Fast reader (like, like whoa levels of speed)

If you’re interested, email me at theadventuresoflawyergirl (at) gmail or leave a comment. I would love to get some feedback/thoughts on this idea, even if you aren't interested in my services. What kind of critiquing would YOU want, if you were to hypothetically pay for some?

(Disclaimer: Of course, if we've already done the critique partner thing, I wouldn't charge you, and if you would like me to read for you in exchange for you someday reading for me, why of course that's a different matter! But if you just need someone to tear up your manuscript or even term paper with their little red pen -- or track changes, as the case may be -- I'd be happy to oblige for a fee that is yet to be quite determined ...)

B is for Blackwater Bay

Yup, it’s a blog post about Game! Of! Thrones!

(I find that when you say Game of Thrones like Pat Sajak would say Wheel of Fortune, it becomes even more awesome. But why would you need to make Game of Thrones more awesome?)

I have been waiting for season 3 of Game of Thrones for nearly a year now, and the premier two days ago more than lived up to my expectations. If you’ve read the books, I’d put money on Storm of Swords being your favorite. (And if you haven’t read the books, what are you waiting for?)

Do you watch Game of Thrones? And if you do, care to totally geek out in the comments with me?