Monday, January 20, 2014


The blog has been silent as of late, but that doesn't mean I am not learning life lessons all over the place. Oh, no.

Take this one, for example.

IKEA is great for many things -- inexpensive furniture and meatballs being the best examples. They are not great, however, at efficiency or accuracy.

Take my new kitchen remodeling project, for example. It took IKEA three tries to deliver all the cabinets and parts I'd ordered, and once I began opening boxes, I realized immediately that at least one was wrong.

The best part of this story was that I let the IKEA people sucker me into paying them $200 for them to design my kitchen, because that way, "Nothing would be wrong when you go to checkout."

Oh, IKEA. Oh, you kidders.

Or the countertops I ordered. They waited until I was about to pay -- having already planned and scheduled the remodel -- to tell me that the pale gray quartz I wanted was on back-order until February. (For the record, I paid IKEA in November and spent TWO sessions with their kitchen planners before they mentioned this. That's one long back-order).

I ultimately ordered the IKEA countertops, hoping there would be an update (or a miracle). There never was, and when I went back to the store for the fourth time last weekend to cancel my order it took a half dozen (no exaggeration) different employees to refund my money.

Of course, all this drama has to be balanced against the fact that IKEA is cheap as hell and relatively easy to assemble. But if you, like me, find the failure of others to do their jobs supremely irritating -- to the point of near-rage-blackout-levels -- maybe live with the 1960s-era kitchen until you can afford the custom job.

Why, is that beige and red checkerboard underneath your old yellow linoleum? Indeed it is!
But either way, stock up on face masks.

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