Quote of the Day: Thanks Facebook Stalking!

"Conservatives elated when Chicago loses Olympic bid, distraught when US President receives Nobel Prize. We're all on the same team, people. Dems are just quarterbacking for a bit."

- Bryson Morgan

Couldn't have said it better. 

TMI: The Waiting Game Edition

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Is there a way to induce a 24 hour coma?  Aside from the suggestion in the above picture.  (Hell, come to think of it, I'll consider anything at this point.)

Random annoyance of the week: People who insist they are sure I passed the bar. 

Look, I know you mean well, but some of you don't even know me.  I might be an idiot. 

Even if I'm not an idiot, lots of smart people fail the bar.  It's not like high school, where it's possible for no one to fail.  SOMEONE WILL FAIL.  And every single one of those people who get the "Sorry, Try Again" letter also got into and graduated from an accredited law school.  They were also smart.  They also never failed anything before.  MOM, IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT I NEVER MISSED A QUESTION IN FIRST GRADE, FIRST GRADE WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO!!

[Ahem.  Sorry about that last one.]

And yes, you insisting you knew I would pass will work out very nicely should I pass, but we're both going to feel pretty crappy if things don't turn out that way. 

Black and Mormon - From KUED

K, I can't figure out how to make this video fit ... if someone out there is smarter than me, please let me know what I'm doing wrong.  Otherwise, if you'd like to see this clip, go to http://www.kued.org/productions/utahnow/?action=viewShowDetails&id=174.

Blurg!

Yo tengo pelo muy imponente*

My mom buys weird stuff. If it's in the discount bin, and it hypothetically has a purpose, my mom will buy it and consider it a good economic decision.

Sometimes, this has really great results. For example, I have a ton of different shades of nail polish.

Sometimes, this has really awful results. No one needs a teddy bear wearing camo and waving an American flag in their living room.

Sometimes, this has unexpected results.

This morning, I ran out of hairspray so I stole some out of my mom's bathroom. I'm not a huge hairspray girl, and usually just use it as a sort of desperate move when I don't know what else to do. But this stuff - despite a sticker saying EXTRA STRENGTH! - was doing nothing for me. I frowned, and figured I should just spray way, way more onto my hair. Surely that will resolve the problem, says I.

It wasn't until I realized my hair was taking on a weird, definitely-not-crunchy-but-almost-kinda-waxy texture that I realized I was using Formula Latina. Which my 100% Scandinavian mother had almost certainly pulled out of the discount bin at the grocery store.

Well done, Mamacita.

* That's mostly how you say it, right?

CURSES!!

Amazon.com, you lied to me! The Hangover doesn't release on DVD until DECEMBER!

Ugh, does anyone have any movie buying suggestions that can tide me over?

Making poor choices since 1984

Very superstitious, writing's on the wall

Every year, between August and the end of November, I become totally irrational when it comes to colors. But in a way, it does make my life easier.

At the AT&T store, picking my new phone
Salesguy: So it comes in blue or red, which would you --
Me: Red! Red, please, thanks.

With a friend, at the car dealership
Friend: I don't know, don't red cars get pulled over more often?
Me: (Thinking, "That's true, but what's a few speeding tickets compared to gridiron glory?") Nah, I think that's an urban legend. (Memo to self: Do not admit to Cougar friend why you pushed the red car over the blue.)

At work, on the first rainy day of the year:
Me: (Silently noticing the umbrellas Deseret Book has provided for employees are red and white. Nod with satisfaction.)