Analogy Help

I've debated this with a couple of friends, and we all come up with different answers.

So, practicing law without a license is a big no-no in any jurisdiction, which means even after you've graduated from law school and received that sweet, sweet Juris Doctorate, you're still the equivalent of someone who got a master's in Russian literature. You might as well go pierce your tongue and start working at a Starbucks until you've passed the bar.

Some think that once you've graduated law school, you're a "lawyer," and once you've passed the bar, you're an "attorney." This distinction has never made any sense to me, since that would imply "lawyers" aren't really supposed to be practicing law.

I've always considered a law school graduate kind of like a fetus lawyer, and someone who has passed the bar a real baby. The summer after graduation? The long, icky process of labor.

My friend Chris thinks that when you graduate you're a baby, and when you pass the bar, it's like you're an adult, ready to go out into the world. He thinks the three years of law school should be analogous to the three trimesters - and if you abort yourself in the first year, no one thinks the worse of you, but if you tap out during 2L or 3L ... well, that's a bit more tragic. (I think that this analogy is a little too in-depth, but I will acknowledge mine is a little thin on details.)

Anyone out there want to weigh in on the proper description of a law grad with no ability to practice law? We did not discuss the repercussions of bar failure on the lawyer-as-baby analogy, because that would be depressing, but now that it's all over, feel free to toss out suggestions.

Random thought of the day: Mel Gibson

So I watched Lethal Weapon last night in the ER with Charlie ... is it just me, or should we have known Mel Gibson was totally batsh*t crazy a long, long time ago?

In any case, now I know who Jonathan Rys Myers of the "eyes widening, nostril flaring" school of acting thinks of when he plays Henry VIII.

Back in black

Got home last night. Went to bed. Slept 14 hours and woke up this morning.

To Do List:

Watch this week's Daily Shows

Find a job

Clean my car

Clean my room

... notice anything that's missing? Me neither. :)

Adventures in Tucson: Day 2

Guh.

The MBE was today.

And I started to feel sick - like, literally sick, not "making an excuse for failure in advance" sick, not "look-at-me-look-at-me-the-bar-is-so-hard-sick," but genuinely kind of nauseous - two hours into the morning session.

Went to Subway again with April. Diet Coke failed at settling my stomach - mwah??? My whole world just turned upside down.

Back at questionable hotel room (so grateful for hand sanitizer; so sad I didn't pack more), watching So You Think You Can Dance. It's pretty good ... but I wish I were (a) back in SLC, celebrating with all my other SJQ homies, or in the alternative, (b) watching something with plot, dialogue, or at least no screaming menopausal lady judge.

Oh no - oh nah nah nah nah. (Jessica Taylor, that one's for you.)

Ahem. The day wasn't over.

10:50 pm. Get in shower. Am assaulted by fire hose setting of shower head.

10:55 pm. Am reminded of why one should not wear contacts while showering in questionable hotel bathroom: You can see what's on the walls of said shower. Whimper.

10:55:30 pm. Try to remind myself that whoever left all those "special hairs" (as Chris would call them) on the walls of this shower at EYE LEVEL was at least probably having a very good time. So I salute you, Mr.-or-Ms.-Doesn't-Abide-By-Normal-Grooming-Standards.

10:56:00 pm. Finish washing shampoo out of hair and get the faaaaaaahck out of that shower.

10:57 pm. Grab folded towel off towel rack to wipe off my runny make up. Look at towel briefly. Think, "Huh. There's already mascara on this towel."

10:58 pm. Wonder what, exactly, the Hotel Arizona staff thinks those "Save our Planet - Reuse Towels!" post-its in the bathroom ought to mean. Throw all the towels on the floor, to be clear that I want BRAND NEW ONES tomorrow.

11:00 pm. NOW I'm going to bed.

Adventures in Tucson: Day 1

My adventure in Tucson technically started yesterday in Denver. 5:30 pm - flight delayed. 8:08 - flight finally arrives. 9:00 pm - flight takes off.

10:00 pm Pacific time, I arrive in Tucson. Hail a cab, get ride to hotel. Quickly realize the Hotel Arizona's lovely website pictures will not be representative of my stay. Get up to hotel room. Turn on air conditioner. Runs at about 107 decibels, which is about as loud as a snow mobile. Pull down sheets of bed. Too tired to freak out when I see bugs on sheets. Tear sheets off bed, lay towels down, try to go to sleep. Reflect with gratitude on Spring Break Trip 2009: Las Vegas.* Really decreased my standards for hotel rooms.

11:30 pm. Wake up to turn off air conditioner. Too loud, too cold.

12:45 am. Wake up to turn air conditioner back on, can't breathe.

2:00 am. Wake up. Can't remember definition of an express easement.

4:00 am. Wake up. Debate turning air conditioner off. Conclude that I'd rather have sleep.

5:00 am. Primary alarm goes off. Hit the snooze button.

5:20 am. Secondary alarm goes off. Soooooo grateful for secondary alarm. Wake up, brush teeth. Decide showering is over-rated. Start reading over real property notes. So that's an easement ...

6:00 am. Go down to hotel Starbucks for breakfast. Despite 50 thousand signs throughout hotel, Starbucks does not actually open at 6:00 am, but 7:00. Grumble a little. Go back up to room, consider finishing Swedish fish package for breakfast. Read more notes instead.

7:00 am. Go back down to Starbucks. Greatly angered when still not open. Wait around.

7:10 am. Buy Pop Tarts package and Zero Carb Rockstar.

7:15 am. Back in room. Pack up stuff. Mentally agonize over the possibilities of dropping my laptop on the way to the Convention Center.

7:20 am. Walk to Convention Center.

7:23 am. Arrive at Convention Center. Hotel Arizona may be gross, but it sure is convenient.

7:30 am. Meet April. Leave my notes in her car. Can't finish a Rockstar for the first time in my life. Leave that in her car too.

7:50 am. Check in. Girl at registration table can't find my name tag. Briefly consider throwing massive shit fit. Then I see it.

7:55 am. Set up laptop at what April and I think will be the least noisy table.

8:05 am. Two more people join our table. One is from Salt Lake City, but goes to U of A. I think this is a good sign.

8:06 am. Find out U of A guy has already failed the AZ Bar by 4 points. Want to banish him and his bad karma to another table.

8:07 am. Find out the AZ Bar only had a 60% pass rate last February. Feel kinda sick. Such a big difference between 60% and 70%.

8:10 am. Find out Secured Transactions WAS on the last bar exam! Start trying to remember the priority rules for secured creditors ...

8:15 am. See Wes Christensen in an Exam 4 shirt! Feel much better. Wave him over to our table. Tell him we have dibs on his help if anything goes wrong.

8:20 am. Non-laptop users can come register. Occurs that I now have to sit at my seat for 40 more minutes before exam can begin.

8:30 am. See Steve from work. He seems less stressed out than me, which would be a first. Am annoyed by that.

8:45 am. Instructions are read.

9:00 am. Exam begins.

12:00 pm. Submit electronically.

12:10 pm. Wait in line to turn in USB.

12:15 pm. Walk with April to Subway. Memories ...

1:20 pm. Return to Convention Center.

1:25 pm. More waiting ...

1:45 pm. Guy reads the same instructions.

2:00 pm. Open exam.

5:00 pm. Submit electronically.

5:10 pm. Turn in USB.

5:20 pm. Go back to hotel room, grab swimming suit.

5:30 pm. Go to April's hotel. Waaaaaaay nicer than mine. Go swimming.

7:20 pm. Go to In-and-Out. Mmmmmmm ....

10:45 pm. Go to bed.

* Subject for another day.

** Ahem. Did I edit this post out of terror of various bar exam rules I don't quite understand? Sure did ...

Slipped away? She didn't just slip away!!

When I study, I like to take movie breaks. Last night I watched Misery with James Caan and Kathy Bates. I loved that book, but I've never seen the movie.

When I got to the part where Annie (Kathy Bates) talks about life after her divorce -- "I thought I might go crazy ... night shifts can be lonely at a hospital ... that was when I first discovered Misery. She made me so happy. She made me forget all of my problems. I just kept reading them over and over." -- I couldn't help but think about the Twilight books.

And wonder if Stephenie Meyer has ever read or seen Misery.

And -- given that what happened to poor Paul Sheldon (James Caan) *cough cough foot amputation cough* -- wonder if that was why she was never willing to up the ante on her storylines and kill any of her characters.

Despite, you know, having them constantly battling armies of vampires.

Because I'd be scared of her fans, if I were her.