It's like waiting for Santa to come

I haven't bought a DVD in forever, mostly just because nothing that particularly appeals to me has been released recently.

So of course that means three of the movies I just barely saw, I am obsessed with--and now must wait months and months for them to come out on DVD. Sigh, Inglourious Basterds, Hurt Locker, Zombieland ... will you never arrive?

Thank goodness The Hangover comes out next week. :)

Mommy, why are there underoos in the corner?

The Spring Break 2009 Story:

Remember when Vegas was trying to market itself as "family friendly" a few years ago? Yeah, this was before the Las Vegas chamber of commerce remembered that the awesomeness of Vegas was mostly the fact that you could get away from your family and go nuts. Hence, the "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" marketing campaign. Well, let's just say, in addition to avoiding the serious lame factor of trying to appeal to children, axing the family-friendly angle put Vegas visitors on serious notice.

For my final spring break (tear ...), some law school friends and I decided to make the roadtrip down to Vegas to let off some steam (shop, swim, tan, gamble, and booze it up, for those inclined) and see our friend Phil's U2 cover band play the New York, New York. Most of the law school crowd was staying at the Monte Carlo, but my friend Chris' step-dad had vouchers for the Sahara at the end of the Strip. Sweet, says I, Chris and our buddy Artemis, let's stay in the hotel that's free.

Suffice it to say, I learned a valuable life lesson that March: You get what you pay for.

When we opened the door to our room at the Sahara, we found the functional equivalent of a crack den. Dirt and dust everywhere. Broken TV. White "stuff" on the clock radio. Burn marks and chemical scorches on the countertops. Food on the floor. A laminated note in the bathroom, detailing the appropriate disposal method for hypodermic needles.

UNDERPANTS IN THE CORNER.

We called down to the front desk and said there must have been some mistake, because this room clearly had not been cleaned since its last occupants had exited. It went unsaid that the burn marks from meth production and the "How to clean your heroin syringes" guide had obviously been there awhile.

We moved up to a new room that was marginally better than the first one--in that, there was no food on the floor and no underwear in the corner. We slept on top of towels and the door double-bolted. And the next night, we checked out of the Sahara and moved over to the Monte Carlo with everyone else.

Overall, still one of my Top Five vacations.

Rules are rules, kids

I usually try to be a considerate driver - move into another lane so people can get onto the freeway faster, stop so people can get out of a parking lot, get out of a lane if there's someone behind me driving faster, etc. I have only ever flipped off two people, and they really, really deserved it. And I always, always, always let people in when they're trying to get over.

The one exception to this rule is when construction results in lane closures, and people drive up the soon-to-be-closed lane in an effort to get in front of everyone who merged like a rational driver a half mile earlier. I would rather drive six inches behind the bumper of the person in front of me than let that happen.

Sorry - that's just the way things are.

Fair and balanced

When I step into an LDS Church-owned Deseret Book store, I expect to find religious study aids and wholesome entertainment. Yet when I walk into my local Deseret Book or look on its Web site, I find that books by right-wing talk show pundits are actively promoted, but there is nothing to represent the other side of the political spectrum.

Not only are the promoted books by people on the right wing, but they are the most offensive of all the conservative propagandists on the air today. Daily they spew lies, half-truths, misrepresentations and hatred of all sorts.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints should not be soiling its good reputation by selling these books through its bookstores. Every election season, the LDS Church proclaims political neutrality, but the one-sided selling of such books only reinforces the misperception that it is a Republican church.

If Deseret Book can tell its customers to go shop elsewhere for Stephenie Meyer's Twilightbooks, surely it can do the same for books that are far more offensive and fictional.

David Florer

Bellevue

Published in The Salt Lake Tribune, September 15, 2009

The thing is, if Deseret Book's customers (mostly LDS moms) would buy them, DB locations would stock books of a more liberal nature. And if LDS audiences would finally clue into the fact that Glenn Beck is an unbalanced, hateful douche, they'd stop stocking him.

New goal: Whenever I want a copy of a "liberal" book, like Lies (And The Lying Liars Who Lie Them): A Fair and Balanced Look At the Right by Al Franken, The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama, etc., I plan to buy it at one place and one place only: Deseret Book.

Shock and Awe: DB Style

So I got a temporary job at the Deseret Book corporate office while I'm waiting for my firm's start date.

***

Can I just ask, what is with all the stunned expressions when I tell people this?

Do you all think I can't hack it in Married Central? Do you think all the BYU fans will do me in? Is it the lack of swearing as a daily activity, or the love of Glenn Beck you all think I won't be able to handle?

OK, I'll admit it ... it's a slightly wacky place to work (Um, NO, I don't know the words to "Rise and Shout"), but mostly nice.

So no worries, folks - I got this.

New job skills: Gift basketry

Snuggle bunnies

Well, church was fun today. The Sunday School lesson was on the importance of marriage (Mwah???? I've never heard this before!) and I witnessed some of the most egregious PDA I've ever seen in church. Couple after couple seemed to be announcing, Hey, look at us! On the path to celestial marriage here!!! At one point, after watching a girl scratch her boyfriend's head for ten minutes, my friend Sara leaned over and whispered, "Is your scalp starting to itch now, too?" And it sure was.

On the plus side, I learned a valuable tip about my future relationships:

• Much like serving with a companion on a mission, your future spouse can determine how successful your life turns out. Lesson: Don't marry a loser.

Next Sunday: Taking a personal day.