Friday, July 27, 2012

Because this is just how life goes sometimes

Some weeks, everything goes wrong. This was one of those weeks.

Aside from a flooded basement, a malfunctioning vacuum, a tragically struggling strawberry patch, some work disasters, and some writing disappointments, there is something that smells horrible on the white rug in my living room.

Hannah, Diego and I cannot figure it out. Much scrubbing and Febreezing has occurred, to no avail. (Oddly enough, the dogs don't seem bothered by it, but then again, dogs love rolling around in dead things, so there's that.)

The carpet cleaning guy came out on Monday and told me if the smell wasn't gone in three days, he'd come back. He's coming back tomorrow.

Yesterday I had a root canal. After a childhood of zero cavities, my adult mouth has suddenly betrayed me. At 21 I had two cavities. At 26, those fillings broke and had to be replaced. At 28, it's apparently root canal time.

I was pretty nervous about the whole situation, having witnessed a root canal in high school as a part of shadowing assignment (blood! smoke! pulverized tooth dust! burning smell!), so my dentist called in a prescription for a single dose of Valium.

(Also, can I just say, the reason why we have a problem with prescription drug addiction in this country is that when a dentist calls in a prescription for a single dose of Valium, the pharmacy gives you 5. Lortab? 20. I wish I'd had my wits together enough to ask for Vicodin instead, since Lortab makes me throw up, but there you have it. I have 20 unusable Lortabs in my house now, so please don't rob me, drug addicts.)

For anyone who has never taken Valium, the idea that it is going to make you blissed out and calm is bunk. As I was driving to the dentist office, having taken my single dose of Valium, all I could think was, "I feel stupid. But I'm still smart enough to know that I am stupider than I should be. Is it weird that I can tell that my reflexes are seriously slower than normal, but I can't force myself to fix that situation? Sorry other drivers!

And also, I am still terrified at the prospect of someone drilling into my face, so Valium is a lose-lose situation."

On the upside, the dentist (apparently scared that I would attempt to bite his hand) gave me some nitrous oxide as well. And can I just say, I don't know if laughing gas is supposed to actually make you laugh, but it did make me fall asleep for an hour while someone chiseled into my nerve, so go team nitrous oxide.

After the root canal, I sat on the couch at home and attempted to eat some ice cream with the half of my mouth that was still functioning, and obsessed over the weird carpet smell.

I lit candles. I turned off the air conditioning. I opened windows and doors in an attempt to air out the room.


I have to say, you know a smell is bad when it's less pleasant than recovering from a root canal.

I suspect that there's a weird metaphor for my life in there somewhere, but at the moment I feel too stupid to figure out what it is.


  1. I am now dying to know what caused the smell. if you ever find out please share.

  2. I've now had four, count 'em FOUR, root canals. One in each corner of my mouth. I wish they would've given me something to knock me out! I still haven't gone back to get the crown on one of those teeth, that's how bad I hate the dentist (I have a temporary, jaggedy filling instead which I've had for probably two years now). Yep- my teeth suck.

    1. Gah, I just got the temporary crown put on yesterday, it was worse than the root canal! Being a grown up is a fool's game. :p