Sunday, December 11, 2011

Well, this is a high class problem

Feel free to judge me.  It is the internet, after all.

Seeking to soothe some of my anxiety, I sought out a massage this weekend.  Between bad posture, stress, battling overgrown rose branches, and some trouble sleeping, I figured my poor back deserved it.

But unfortunately, I was scheduled with a massage therapist who took the "therapist" part of his job too seriously.

I know I have a lot of tension, inflammation, rigidity, etc. in my back, shoulders, and neck.  But what I want out of a massage is not someone who will fix me in an hour, but someone who will just make me feel better for an hour. 

Ramming an elbow into my glutes while manipulating my knee?  Not making me feel better.

"Wow!" he exclaimed at one point.  "The muscles in your neck are like piano wires, do you feel that?"

"Yes," I replied through gritted teeth, trying to ignore his index finger jammed into my neck.

Next time, I will make do with an ice-free Diet Coke and a puppy snuggle.


  1. Ouch! I've only had one professional massage, but when I went, I tried to convey the message that "I am a big fat wimp please don't get too into fixing all of my tense muscles because I will cry and it will be unpleasant for all of us" as diplomatically as I could.

  2. That sucks. You should call me next time. I'm a kick ass therapist. My specialty is Russian Sports, but I do it so that it feels like a Swedish. So you get the therapy but it feels great.

    Drink lots of water, though, to flush things out, and hope you feel better soon!

  3. MJ-I should have called you! But you live in Real Denver, doncha? :p

    I'm taking your water advice, thanks!

  4. Oh man! Next time don't hit the one that is so into the "therapist" part. Tell them you want a nice "massage" to relax you. Cause they are heavenly when done right. *shakes head* You poor thing. That does NOT sound pleasant at all!

  5. No judging here. You wanted to feel good not grit your teeth and have your muscles realigned. I hope you have a better experience next go-round...and make sure that if you go to the same place, you request to NOT have brute with therapy-tude.

  6. There must be something wrong with me, but I'm a rougher = better kinda girl. I can't get enough. And I know I am abnormal and I know that makes most people miserable. Just head over to Brookstone's and sit down for awhile in one of those chairs that shake you to death. At least the giggles will soothe:-)

  7. I get reflexology massages sometimes. I always have bruises the next day.

    The things we do to "relax."

  8. I have dreams about getting a massage - I haven't ever had one, but my chiropractor tells me I'm probably due.

    Sometimes you have to not be nice. Hope the next time you go it is better. And I agree about Diet Coke being amazing.