But you already know what that is, don't you? So I don't think I'll talk about them.
(In a way, this blog post's titles is, itself, a red herring. GASP!)
As I was preparing my taxes a few weeks ago, a thought occurred to me. When we refer to the federal government, we say "Uncle Sam." So when I paid my federal taxes, I say, "Uncle Sam really screwed me over this year."
But when I pay my state taxes, shouldn't I shake my fist and mutter something like, "Damn you, Uncle Brigham"? (Yes, shocking I know. "New Denver" is in Utah somewhere. Minds blown.)
I shared this theory with the roomies, along with my suggestions for other states. (Nevada = Uncle Kit. Massachusetts = Uncle Massasoit. Rhode Island = Auntie Anne. Hawaii = Aunt Liliuokalani. And so forth.)
Hannah responded sadly that Uncle Sam hadn't been so bad, but Uncle Brigham had really taken things out on her this year. (References were made to Khal Drogo, if you know what I mean.)
All joking aside, I really think that we should all try to make this happen. I mean, once upon a time in New York, people decided to start abbreviating all their neighborhoods, and that eventually became a thing. (Last night as I helped him prep for trial, Diego kept referring to a town called "West Jordan" as "WeJo." I think we can all agree this would be a big improvement for the residents of WeJo. It just sounds way cooler.) If they could do it, why can't we?
What do you think the patron aunts and uncles of the 50 states should be? Or at the very least, will you commit to referring to West Jordan as "WeJo"?