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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Well, shucks

Oscar Sparrow nominated me for a Kreativ Blogger Award, ain't that sweet? As part of that award, I have to tell you 10 things you probably don't know about me.  I'm also supposed to pick 10 people to give it to, but when I get overwhelmed with work, I get overwhelmed with decisions, which means the thought of picking 10 of the many fantastic blogs I read, follow, and/or stalk to highlight gives me a headache.  AWARDS FOR EVERYONE!

1. I want to visit India. The trick is apparently finding a travel buddy. Everyone wants to go to Paris, no one wants to go to Mumbai.

2. I really hate texting. A subset of that hatred is the "hey" text -- when someone tries to initiate a conversation with the word "hey" and sometimes nothing else.  But even more than that?  I hate the "hey [adjective or sometimes noun]" text.

In the last two weeks, a guy has tried to initiate conversation with me by texting the following:

"Hey cutie!"

"Hey hot stuff!"

"Hey cutie"

"Hey cutie"

"Hey gorgeous!"

And last night when I logged on to Facebook, an IM that said, "Hey sexy."

Just ... gross.

Fortunately for this kid, I do believe there's a lid for every pot out there, so all he has to do is find a girl who is easily flattered and enjoys really tiny conversations.

3. Despite sharing a few horror date stories, I mostly prefer to keep to myself about my various romantic misadventures. While the goal is to find a guy who fits into my group of friends and family, I don't especially want to have to talk to them about him.

4. I am terrible at setting people up, but the one exception is after someone moves to a different state.  Then suddenly I realize that he/she is perfect for her/him, and why can't I ever figure that out while people live in the same area code?

5. I hate mushrooms and barely tolerate tomatoes. My parents predicted my entire life that I would grow out of these hatreds -- nope. But I did grow out of my hatred of hummus, so that's something.

6. I am afflicted with what my family lovingly calls "Lassie Complex," ie SOMEONE-FELL-DOWN-A-WELL???-CAN-I-HELP?-CAN-I-HELP? complex.

So you know, when I say I went to law school because I wanted to "help people," it's true.  I pathologically want to help people.

I'm considering seeing a therapist about it.

7. Despite being Mormon, it really bugs me when Mormons-in-their-Mormon-capacity show up at my door, unannounced. This has nothing to do with being Mormon per se, and everything to do with having a Mormon purpose.

Random Mormon coming for a friendly (previously announced) visit?  Fine.

Mormon coming over (usually unannounced) to get all Mormon up in my grill? Less than appreciated.

And for the record, I do apply the same standard to myself. So when I am assigned to bring someone (usually a stranger) cookies for church because their hair got over-processed at the salon, I drop those cookies with a nice note on the porch and run like a bandit.

8. I would totally go on The Bachelor for the vacations.  And if the producers asked me to cry my eyes out in the reject limo in exchange for a free trip to Costa Rica, I would whip out my Vicks Vapo Rub  and blubber like a champ.

I have no shame when it comes to vacations.

9. I want a pocket pig.  In fact, I would pay an obscene amount of money for a pocket pig, and am considering fencing my backyard for the sole purpose of buying one this summer.

POCKET PIG!
10. I hate lists so bad that this post was delayed three days because I couldn't think of a Number 10.

13 comments:

  1. Ten things? Huh, I had to do six.
    That pocket pig is so, so adorable. I can see why you want one.

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  2. India, Ireland and Israel are my top three destinations to visit. I have a thing for countries begining with the letter "i".

    There really are few things more annoying that the un-announced Mormon visit. I personally have a grudge against the entire home-teacher thing because it feels like the friendship equivlent of an arranged marriage. I don't want these people to be my friends, I can make my own friends, and if I need something those are the people I am going to call.

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  3. Okay, you made me chuckle. The Mormon getting up in your grill. Ru, you need to get out of Utah!

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  4. Congrats on your award. And who wouldn't want to go India? The history, and the architecture. Such a beautiful country, though, like any country there are some places I wouldn't want to rest my bottom.

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  5. I know it's a poisoned chalice to get these awards. I only did it cos I love your comedy and honest approach. Thanks for this post - it's a classic.

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  6. I WANT A POCKET PIG TOO! It's my life's goal to get one and name it Petunia. No joke.

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  7. The pocket pig kept playing tricks on my eyes, and for a while (that is, until I read your description of it) I thought it was some sort of baby alien.

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  8. Hey! I gave you that award, too! Not that I told you or anything.... Fun list.

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  9. 1. I would love to go to India as someone's travel buddy, but have approximately $0.

    2. I also hate texting, but my most loathed text is "ok." What a pointless reply.

    3. I also hate the Mormon visits, but not because they are unannounced (minor inconvenience). I don't like them because these people have made no effort to know who I am as a person before deciding it's a good idea to stop by and preach at me for 10 minutes.

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  10. I know! Why is it so hard to convince people to travel to the really cool places??

    And that pig is dang cute.

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  11. Get buddy buddy with someone who works at an airline. I have a few friends who LOVE travelling,and India is on their lists. Some of them have been there a few times. And they're pretty cool peoples, I'd travel with them if I didn't have kids that were too young to leave for a week or three.

    I'm with you on the Mormon visits. I refused to answer the door for my visiting teachers for 2 years because I specifically asked to NOT have them for reasons that had nothing to do with them, I just couldn't handle having to host someone in a home that wasn't mine, and when I'm home with my kids, I want to spend time with my KIDS.

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  12. I appreciate, lead to I discovered just what I was having a look for. You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye
    Perricone MD Intensive Moisture Therapy, 2-Ounce Bottle

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  13. I would also totally go on the bachelor for the vacations. Though I don't actually know how to make myself cry on command. This is something I'm studying.

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