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Saturday, December 17, 2011

Well, I'll prepare for this to be misinterpreted

I hate the word "Mom."

There's something about it that grosses me out.  Maybe it's the long O sound combined with that nasally M.  Maybe it's that it's so short -- I find "bob" pretty vile, too. It might even be the way it looks written -- "mom" just looks so abrupt and judgy, like something in German. Nein.

I hate the way people say it. Either whiny or sycophantically or smugly or condescendingly. There's pretty much no way to say the word "Mom" that doesn't disgust me, unless you are actually addressing or referring to your own mother.

"Oh hey Mom, just wanted to call and check in."  A-OK.

"I can't wait to be a Mom!" Shudder.

"I made the reservation for us and Mom." Acceptable.

"But Moooooooom."  Gag.

"Mom said it was the second left after the light." Informative.

"I have the best job ever, I'm a Mom."  Kill me now.

But doubly bad?  "Awww, he's so happy now that Mom's here!"  Said to me.  At the vet's.  About Spencer.

(I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  Spence and I do not have a parent-child relationship.  We have a 10-4, good buddy relationship.)

I hate attorneys who can't be bothered to learn peoples' names.  Henceforth Mom will do her best to to create a positive atmosphere for the kids and not refer negatively to Dad in front of them.  Dad will do his best to maintain appropriate boundaries and discipline and drop kids off at Mom's on time.  It's so smarmy and familiar, yet so obvious that you can't be bothered to shuffle through your papers and find out whether it was Kim or Karen, Bill or Brandon.  (Ahh, screw it, just write "Mom" and "Dad.")  Seriously, "petitioner" and "respondent" would be better.

And I hate that you can't tell people that you hate the word "Mom" without people staring at you like you've just kicked a kitten.

Oh look, that girl hates moms. Let's shun her. Or better yet, send her a copy of emotionally manipulative books like "Love You Forever." Yes, that's an excellent idea. Weep, cold girl on the internet, weep!

Anyone else there have an irrational dislike an otherwise positive-to-neutral meaning word?  Anyone hate "puppy," for instance?  (You monster!)

8 comments:

  1. It sounds like it's more the delivery than the word itself that gets stuck in your craw. Which I totally get. There's something about an 18-year-old newlywed with a baby bump saying, "Oh, I've always wanted to be a mom" that causes a gag-a-thon for me.

    In general, the word "mother" does it do me. I have a kid, and he's great. We have buckets of fun together. But I do not and probably never will feel like a "mother." I had someone on Facebook tell me that I looked "motherly" with my kid, and I felt vaguely insulted. I'm not motherly! Motherly means mom jeans and outdated hair and wrinkles and saggy breasts. AHHHHHHH! Anything but that!

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  2. Heh. I feel more or less the same way. I'm okay with "mum" or "mummy" or "mama", but not "mom". Someday, my poor children will be so confused.

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  3. I think "mom" is a really bland word and I'm pretty sad about the fact that pretty soon, Harper is going to stop calling me "mama" and start calling me "mom." I don't see an alternative, however, since we aren't British (I'd make the cutest "mum" ever, I just know it) and I'm way to young to referred to as "mother."

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  4. I feel the same way as the parents here. I wanted to be called Mama, but somehow my son changed it into Mommy. Sometimes he still says Mama, but he decided on his own. I never wanted to be called Mom, but ah well, one day it will likely go there.

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  5. Speaking of puppies, I'm going to go ahead and say I hate a word I remember you using. Be prepared to get insulted (and infer that I hate your dog). "Pup," as opposed to puppy or dog, drives me crazy. No big reason or social discomfort, it just arbitrarily bugs me.

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  6. Another mother, here. I hate it when people use mom like that, too. Drives me nuts. Although, I'm pretty sure I can trace my dislike of such usage to my MIL, who says things like, "Well I can't help it, I'm a mom." No. You're nosy and controlling. For the record, I call my mother Ma. :) Oh, and also? I hate it, hate it when people refer to their pets as their fur-babies. Not only did you not give birth to it, but Ew.

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  7. I've never really thought about it before, but you make some good points. And now I'm going to notice the way people say "Mom" forever. Thanks.

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  8. You guys are totally right -- all the other variations are way better. Now I just have to find a British guy so I'll have an excuse to use "mum" and "mummy." New life goal ...

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