Hey ya'll, I'm back! This is a totally non-scheduled, non-pre-written post. Unfortunately, I don't have too much to say other than I'm fully committed to catching up by the end of the week, and that I've learned some life lessons while I've been away:
1. When you coordinate your tipping at a restaurant, make sure the other person knows what you're doing and not just checking your math. At a ramen house on our last day in VacationLand, I asked my friend Ricky if $2.60 sounded good and he agreed. I wrote that on my bill. Then I watched him write $3.00 on his bill, making me the jerk who stiffed the waitress. According to Ricky, he thought I was just double-checking my decimal moving skills.
2. When you knock two people over at their airport, don't shout, "I'm about to miss my flight!" in lieu of an apology. That's on everyone's mind at the airport, you're not special. Plus, words about flights just blend together at an airport. It took me five seconds of being mad about the whole assault angle before I processed what you said.
Additionally, you're going to look real dumb when you run into those same people when you're coming out of the ladies' room. Next time, just tell the truth. I would definitely leap out of the way for someone screaming about diarrhea.
3. Cheap trips are always best, and I don't regret my decision whatsoever to visit VacationLand for not-so-much-moola. However, the next time, I think I will spring for whichever hotel doesn't have rock hard mattresses and leaves me notes on my door informing me that the room is going to be fumigated for my convenience on the morrow.
I like my fumigations to take place when I'm not there, personally. Ideally, before I arrive.