So as I was watching The Bachelorette finale the other day, I was feeling annoyed with our intrepid gal Ash.
We were supposed to be sympathetic because Bentley treated you so badly, right? Right.
And yet you let Ben get through his entire proposal before dumping him?
How bad is her self-esteem that she's like, "You know, I'm not going to marry him, but I kind of want to see where this is going."
Anywho, I was feeling annoyed, but then REO Speedwagon came on.
Everyone knows that heals all wounds.
I have a penchant for cheese. Let me rephrase. I swoon over ridiculous, over-the-top ballads sung by 80s bands. I even felt a little faint watching "Captain Jack Sparrow."
I always kind of wanted to engaged to Asia's "Heat of the Moment." Or Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight." Or Survivor's "I Can't Hold Back." (I'm a believer in options.)
If I ever have or adopt a kid, I want to welcome them home with Scorpion's "Rock You Like a Hurricane." When I die, I want Journey's "Wheel in the Sky" played at my funeral.
Don't act like it's weird, I know other people plan big moments around bitchin* songs too. My friend Lulu once said her ideal wedding would be arriving at the church in a helicopter while "Highway to the Dangerzone" played for her guests.
The fact is, some bands get it right.
What are your personal power ballads?
* "Bitchin," as a word, was basically invented to describe songs like "Take Me Home Tonight." Just so you know.