So Spence has to take some pills for 5 days to help his tummy feel better. The demonstration of how to give a puppy a pill (that apparently tastes incredibly disgusting and foams on contact with any liquid) seemed relatively painless -- put the pill at the back of his throat, close his mouth, rub under his chin to encourage him to swallow.
After some nice cuddles this morning, I decided to give it a shot.
First attempt: Spence immediately starts thrashing his 6-pound body in a way that refutes the laws of physics. It was like holding on to a tornado. I fall on my ass as I try to maintain my grip and ultimately fail. He spits out the pill.
Second attempt: Am better prepared for whirling dervish puppy and hold his mouth shut for a solid minute while rubbing under his chin. Let go. I look at him. He looks at me. All is calm. For a brief, shining moment, I think I have won.
Then he spits up the pill.
Third attempt: Since I am apparently not as strong as my tiny, tiny dog, I decide to be cunning. I hide the pill in a ball of peanut butter. Spence licks all the peanut butter off the pill and then looks at me as if to say, "You fool! Bahahahaha!"
Fourth attempt: I dissolve the pill in some Alpo meat chunks with gravy and rice. (He's only had dry puppy food before now, so I hope he won't notice that this has medicinal aftertaste.) He seems briefly enthusiastic, and then suddenly stops eating.
I like to think that maybe 8am is too early for meat chunks with gravy and rice, but I have a suspicion he cottoned to my plan and foiled me.
I left the spiked Alpo with him in the bathroom when I went to work. I will find out this afternoon if he finished eating it, or defiantly smeared it all over the floor. Wish me luck, comrades.