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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

What can I do?

I've got a problem, and that problem is a lack of visual talent. 

I have a job interview this week (trying to supplement the old BigLaw-to-Job-of-Happiness financial transition) and they want me to demonstrate something.  Preferably something "tasty" or "crafty."

My problem is, despite four years of sewing lessons and one year of cooking classes (thanks, Mom and Dad), I am neither knitty nor bakey.  OK, sure, I can display a certain amount of competence around a hem, crock pot or glue gun (the true marks of my people), but these are not really visual acts.  I learned to do a tiny amount of arty frosting -- I can paint a hibiscus flower and create a rose or daisy out of buttercream frosting and do some really cute squiggling.

The problem here is that I know myself, and as soon as the rose gets lopsided or the squiggling gets out of control, which is inevitable, I will either stab my cupcake or start muttering curse words to myself. 

I imagine this is the sort of behavior my potential part-time employers are trying to screen for.  

I can ... sort of ... rock climb.

I can ... sort of ... paint.

I can ... sort of ... edit photographs. 

I can ... sort of ... program my TV.

I can ... sort of ... play video games.  (And that "sort of" is stretching it.  Like, I can play Duck Hunt.)

(Oooh, I can load a gun!  That wouldn't be totally weird and disturbing, would it?) 

Do you see where I am going with this?  The things I am really good at--laundry! typing! cleaning the oven!  shopping! reading! grammar!--are not things I can really PRESENT, as in Cecil B. DeMille PRESENTS

I keep thinking about the scene in Pride and Prejudice when Miss Bingley and Mr. Darcy are discussing what it takes to be an accomplished woman--painting, singing, needle point, a "thorough knowledge of the modern languages" (no, I haven't watched all versions of that movie a lot), piano, reading, and "something in her air and manner of walking."  Well, at least I know I am good at walking--10 out of 10 homeless dudes who hit on me agree!

Do you think I could just show them how cute I walk?

4 comments:

  1. My suggestion, if they want something bakey, is cookies, not cupcakes. Cookies are easy to make impressive, for me at least. Cupcakes? Well. There's a reason they invented frosting. It's because my cupcakes always turn out reallllly ugly. But no one ever ventures beyond the basic cookies, so if you do something different, it's impressive. Trust me. My coworkers think I am a really good baker.

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  2. Go check out Roundabout.blogspot.com [she is on my blogroll] - she has some amazing, EASY crafts that are impressive and cheap - she is all about repurposing things.

    Otherwise you can make world's easiest key lime pie - 4 ingredients, 15 minutes and tastes like heaven. Email me if you want the recipe. :)

    And Alexandra is right - cookies are awesome too.

    Good luck! [I am dying to know what kind of job this is that they want this effort in an interview. hee]

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  3. Her site is roundaboutshop.blogspot.com - sorry about that. Hope that helps. Let me know if you want to throw around anymore ideas.

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  4. Try this project. I did it last weekend on a small wreath. SUPER easy and cost like 8 bucks...http://poshish.blogspot.com/2011/02/valentines-wreath.html Good luck!


    ps. You could also make "monogramed cards" like a set of four with some initial on them or something. I gave those away for christmas gifts for my friends and they liked them. Just get some blank cards and either print or hand draw on them. tie a ribbon around to "package them" :)

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