Monday, November 1, 2010

Come on, Gift Horse, open up ...: Addendum

I realized, thanks to a comment by Hula Buns and an email from the Mormon Child Bride, that I failed to fully explain the rest of my prom dress story.

First, I did get the dress back, and it is residing safely in my closet back at my parents' house.  I'm not sure why I'm saving it -- maybe someday I'll get really crafty and one-dress-a-day-it into a cute little cocktail number.  Maybe I'll try to force it on my daughter when she's of prom-going age.  (Hi, Lola!)

Second, the hideous t-shirt sleeves were not permanent.  It was a bolero, or little jacket, that was off-white and did not match the dress.  And unlike most hideous boleros which sport cap sleeves, this one had 3-Hanes-to-a-ziploc-bag length sleeves.  Ugh.

Now, given that the addition was not permanent, you might be wondering, "Well jeez, what's the big deal?"  Which brings me to my third, and really most insulting, point.

When the dress was returned, it was returned with the offensive bolero -- a not-so-subtle hint that perhaps I should think about covering my smutty little shoulders in the future.


  1. You and you sister crack me up. [I just read both posts together] Between slutty shoulders and burkafied your prom dress I laughed so hard. Thank you!

  2. My high school was something of a freak show the coolest thing you could be on was Seminary Council. Being the liberal heathen convert that I am this never worked for me.(Though I can now blame my lack of "action" in HS to this strange phenom instead of my parted hair and Eddie Bauer tapered jeans). I remember one prom one of the stories going around was about one of the leaders of the God Squad had told his date she needed to put a jacket on to be more modest and how everyone was saying how cool was for doing this. I think I am the only person who said "yeah its cool to make your date feel like a slut on prom night". And this some how reminded me of that.

  3. I never got why that was cool. There was a guy in my home ward a few years older than me (our family nicknamed him the "Unabomber" because he had a creepy stare, although he was cute) who gave a talk once in church where he regaled us with tales of asking his date to BYU Homecoming to go back to her apartment and change dresses. Shockingly, she did it, which inspired me to think of my first life lesson for Future Daughter: If a boy asks you to take off clothes, say no. If a boy tells you to put on more clothes, say no. Basically, if a boy tries to control what you wear in general, run screaming in the other direction.

  4. I would just make sure that Lola (My grandmother's name BTW)knows that Tim Gunn and any of the Queer Eye for the Straight Guys can tell you what to wear, as long as they do it with sass.

  5. Oh, never fear - that's life lesson number two :)