Sunday, October 3, 2010

Even more annoying than "There Is Sunshine In My Soul"*

I hate when you're in church, the teacher asks everyone to turn to a particular scripture reference ... and half a dozen people (or more) pull out their iPhones.


Now, I could leave it at that.  Those of you lucky enough to own an iPhone, but lame enough to have put a scripture app on it, would just think, "She's jealous her Blackberry has such a teeny screen."  The rest of you would nod, because you too have been playing Connect Four: Douchebag Edition in Sunday School.

But you all know how I love to belabor a point.

First of all, do you know how obnoxious it is for the teacher to have to look around and see a bunch of people staring at their phones?  Oh, but I suspect you do, which is why you pulled out the phone in the first place.  So you could smugly think, "I'm not really texting.  I'm getting my edification-on."  Or, when you are texting, "Everyone is so judgmental, just assuming that I'm texting when I could very well be looking at scriptures." (The fact that you are, indeed, texting is irrelevant to this analysis.)

Second -- and this may apply mostly to the singles ward hell to which I have belonged for eight long years, but still -- are you seriously going to advertise the fact that you can't afford your own place at the age of 29, have instead shoved five or six other people into a house in order to only pay $200 a month in rent ... but still have a Droid?  Not that there's anything wrong with materialism -- I love materialism, as you probably have surmised -- but folks.

Let's at least maintain a thin facade of anti-materialism at church, shall we?

* Fact: This is the world's most annoying hymn. 


  1. Guilty as charged. The two times I've read from my phone I felt so ridiculous that I always bring my scriptures, but sometimes I forget in which case I don't read at all. I was at a singles ward a few weeks ago and 4 people had ipads in sunday school. Really people?

    And that hymn is horrible.

    I like you.

  2. I can't even pretend I'm looking up my scriptures at church, the best I get on my phone is Facebook. I admit, Sunday School in my ward is difficult to get through some days, and out comes the phone for texting. (But at least I went, right?)

    Also, having a place of my own would be 40 times better than having an awesome phone, and I *really* want to have a Droid/iPhone/something cool like that.

  3. Whats up with the plethora of church posts as of late, eh? :)

  4. Rich - what can I say? It's good material. ;)

    Alexandra - oh, I definitely have been guilty of texting during Sunday School, but unlike the iPhone crew, I attempt to be coy about it. Really, hiding what you're doing is half the fun! :)

  5. It's true, and I try to hide my phone as well, but I made the brilliant decision to get a bright blue phone. Not so sneaky.

  6. You're serious? Wow. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but then again I am o.l.d. Iphones? We don't need no stinking Iphones, daggumit. [As my kids roll their eyes and protectively clutch theirs] And yes. Very annoying hymn. You crack me up.

  7. I think Scatter Sunshine is more annoying.... of course there are different types of annoying... everytime I hear "I know that my redeemer lives" start up, I cringe a little inside as I know I will be stuck listening to the song for probably 10 minutes because it is always SOOOO slow.....