Tuesday, August 17, 2010

What's a clever way of saying "fat"?

So I've been thinking for awhile now (basically the last two hours) that my travails with the scale deserve their own tag, and I finally came up with one.  However, I also wanted to share the three runners up:

Ann Taylor Loft Size 6 (Tragically, this is the only store where I remain a size 6, and it's only because the Ann Taylor people know I will be more inclined to buy their clothes if they make me feel skinny, so they put 6 labels on 8 dresses ... and sometimes 10s.  Tear.)

My Squishy Middle (Accurate, but makes me sound a bit like a Three Musketeers Bar, which then gets me hungry for a Three Musketeers Bar.)

Damnit!  Do these "designer" jeans not fit because they were made in China, or because I'm really not a size 29 any more?  (That one is kind of long, but a thought I have at least weekly.)

PS - I know this is a lot of whining coming from someone who is not "fat," but merely "overweight," but really.  The more I look like a Hobbit or teapot (short and stout) the more concerned I get.  When your own father drops you off at the airport and says, "And kiddo, next time I see you ... let's make it a smaller version of you, okay?" you know things have gotten OUT OF HAND.


  1. Weight gain or no (because god knows I've gained in the past two years), I would so chew my dad out for saying something like that.

  2. I gave up looking at sizes a long time ago - It is a joke - as the Ann Taylor Loft sizes attest to - they make bigger clothes in smaller sizes - when in fact we aren't a 6 - we are actually 10's.

    Case in point - I went shopping after the birth of my last child for jeans. I was back to 135 lbs [pre pregnancy weight] and went right for the size 10's - the ones I had always worn. Nope. I could've stood in one leg.

    Since I have been diagnosed with CHF I am now 121 lbs - no choice of my own as I miss food, but have to cut the sodium and that limits a lot of stuff I love [hello? Potato chips I am calling you!] and Banana Republic thinks I am a 4. I call bullsh*t.

    And your Dad may mean well - but that was rude. Sorry.

  3. Meh - it stung for a second, but really, my dad and I are like that. If it had really hurt my feelings, I wouldn't have written about it online. So no worries, friendos :)