So I've been thinking for awhile now (basically the last two hours) that my travails with the scale deserve their own tag, and I finally came up with one. However, I also wanted to share the three runners up:
Ann Taylor Loft Size 6 (Tragically, this is the only store where I remain a size 6, and it's only because the Ann Taylor people know I will be more inclined to buy their clothes if they make me feel skinny, so they put 6 labels on 8 dresses ... and sometimes 10s. Tear.)
My Squishy Middle (Accurate, but makes me sound a bit like a Three Musketeers Bar, which then gets me hungry for a Three Musketeers Bar.)
Damnit! Do these "designer" jeans not fit because they were made in China, or because I'm really not a size 29 any more? (That one is kind of long, but a thought I have at least weekly.)
PS - I know this is a lot of whining coming from someone who is not "fat," but merely "overweight," but really. The more I look like a Hobbit or teapot (short and stout) the more concerned I get. When your own father drops you off at the airport and says, "And kiddo, next time I see you ... let's make it a smaller version of you, okay?" you know things have gotten OUT OF HAND.