So, I saw this video the other day and felt the need to pass it along. It's full of valuable life lessons. Like, if you don't want to take on a certain case, have sex with opposing counsel. Conflict! Or, if you're running late for a date where you're about to propose, pick a fight with your girlfriend about ethics. That way you can still be the good guy when you fail to take things to the next level. Also, "what will the seven-year-olds think?" is a solid position in an argument. Criminal defense and medical malpractice are basically the same thing. And that "lawyer-client confidentiality" thing also extends to people in a sushi restaurant. Hey casual on-lookers, lets keep this convo to ourselves, shall we?
For those of you with lives, I will sum up this masterful little video. Burger from Sex and the City is about to propose to his girlfriend with an awesome ring. You know he's extra moral because he's a public defender, and he's into family values, since the ring was his grandmother's. In the DVD extras, you find out that in a deleted scene, he assures his colleague that the diamond is still conflict-free.
Burger's colleague is not moral, because he slept with opposing counsel, which means Burger will have to defend meth dealers. Don't worry, Burger is not really going to give them a vigorous defense, he is merely going to use their tragic life circumstances to argue for a lesser sentence. Way to hold the government in check there, public defender.
Burger is late for his date with his girlfriend. The fact that he is running late and has chosen to propose in a conveyer-belt sushi restaurant are, I assume, meant to foreshadow Burger's thinly veiled contempt for his scum-sucking amour. He makes fun of her shoes--which, to be fair, do not appear to be that cute--and then gets passive aggressive when she takes a phone call at the restaurant. Sure, he was late, but she's going to take a phone call? That bitch.
Burger then puts the ring on the conveyer belt of love so all the other restaurant patrons can see the size of the rock he didn't pay for. His evil corporate girlfriend is talking about her case with someone who apparently can't function without her, because they keep calling back every thirty seconds.
Then he's like, yap yap yap. And she says, blah blah blah. (Hey, that's kind of like this blog!) Ethics. And the girlfriend who works too much? SHE AIN'T GETTIN PROPOSED TO.
Now, I know we're supposed to be on the guy from Office Space's side, but really, all I want to do is yell, "Run lady lawyer, run! Don't worry about your expensive shoes and run for all you're worth! A self-righteous douche is about to ask you to marry him to you via conveyor belt!"
You know Liberty Mutual, I love your commercials. But taking ethical advice from an insurance company is kind of like taking dieting tips from Kirstie Alley.