Tuesday, June 1, 2010

True or false?

This weekend, I heard one of the greatest may-be-true stories ever.  Over dinner, my friend Kate started to tell a story about a mutual friend's future-mother-in-law's coworker.  (It sounds extended because it is.)  Halfway through her story, though, my friend Diego exclaims, "I've heard this story!"  His coworker's wife is friends with the future-mother-in-law's coworker, and he'd heard the exact same story a few days before.

I have since relayed the story to my dad, who insists that it can't be true.  (He also doesn't believe in the om-nom-nom-kitten, so obviously his sense of wonder has been deadened over the years.)  His basis?  It's just too awesome.  Stories that awesome* don't happen.  Friendster Nelson has also expressed some disbelief, though he still thinks it's funny.  Brother Charlie is on my side, and thinks it's true.

Anyway, internet friends, I want to hear your take on the story.  True or false?  Are two independent confirmations of the story enough, or do you, like my dad, discredit it based on its incredibleness?

So this woman has a high-functioning autistic son, maybe 26 or 27.  He's six feet, four inches tall and thick - not fat, but large.  Anyway, a few days ago the mom gets a call at work from her son.  "Mom, mom!  I caught a troll!"

"That's awesome, hon," she says, thinking of those old troll dolls with the jeweled belly buttons and crazy hair.

Five minutes later, he calls again.  "Mom, mom!  You need to come home, I got a troll!"

"Honey, I'll be home at five," she says patiently.

A few minutes later, the same call.  The son calls two or three more times, always insisting that he has caught a troll and the mom needs to come home right away.

So the mom decides to leave work and goes home.  She walks in the door and she finds her son leaned against a closet, holding a handful of gummi worms.  He has pulled the bookcases over to his side of the room so they can be pushed against the closet door when he isn't there.  As she's standing there, watching him, he opens the closet door and throws the gummi worms inside.  "Mom!"  he yells.  "I caught a troll!"

And from inside the closet door, the mother hears a voice say, "Ma'am?  Hello?"

As it turned out, her son had imprisoned a little person census worker.**

* My version of awesome and your version of awesome may be two different things.  I am willing to admit this story might be considered crazy, sad or horrifying in some contexts.

** Strongly debated writing "midget" for the sake of clarity, even though it's not P.C.


  1. I am skeptical but that is an awesome story... So believe it!

  2. I've heard that story, except he said he caught a Hobbit & it was a Jehovah's Witness missionary...
    Still worth a giggle though.

  3. Heard it before. Heard the JW Missionary story version.


    I long for that to be true.

  5. I must say, on one hand, I'm gratified to know the truth.

    On the other, I'm really troubled by the coworker - Patient X, shall we say - who is claiming this story really happened to her and her autistic son ...

  6. p.s. this post/legend has reminded me of R. Kelly's illustrious epic tale, Trapped in the Closet, and now I can't stop humming this part: "What I'm about to say to y'all is so damn twisted...not only is there a man in his cabinet, but the man is a midget!"

    Please tell me you know what I'm talking about.

  7. Gurrbonzo - oh, do I ever. Not only was it entirely awesome, but it has inspired a thousand awesome parodies, including my personal favorite: It is seasonal, though.

  8. Oh yes I've heard the Jehovah Witness/troll version. Still, pretty funny.