Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Pot-ty break (hee hee)

In the mystery building where I work in Austin (trust me, this time there's a point to the lies and evasions), I have an office on the Someteenth Floor.  It's a nice office with a decent view.  Unfortunately, I don't spend a ton of time there these days. 

I live on the Otherteenth Floor.  In the doc review room.
Now, really, I don't mind this.  Sure, there are days when I never see another living soul, but I get all the Diet Coke I can drink and the view of the Mystery Sports Arena(s) is amazing.  Also, when there's no one down here with me, I can listen to music or talk on the phone as loudly as I like -- and when there are other doc reviewers, I can chit-chat.  So overall, not a bad gig. 

But there's one funny thing about the Otherteenth Floor: the women's bathroom gets cleaned three to five times a day.

Did I mention that maybe 15 people total work on this floor?  Literally - my firm's half of the floor is storage.  There are no occupied offices.  The other half of the floor is leased to a different business, and I sometimes see people walk from the elevators to that side, so I know it is moderately populated.  But of those 15 people?  Maybe 7 are women.  The bathroom has four stalls and two sinks.  There is no way per-stall, per-sink usage on a daily basis merits this kind of attention. 

Of course, this has led me to conclude that the janitors are smoking pot in the women's bathroom of the Otherteenth Floor.  (Hence the cloak-and-dagger.  I don't want anyone getting fired.  In fact, I kind of admire their commitment to their drug of choice.)  Last week, I arrived at work at 6:30 am because I was leaving that afternoon to catch a flight.  Women's room - closed for cleaning.  At 10:00 am when I went to get my second Diet Coke, again - closed for cleaning.  I reported my findings to the other doc reviewers, and according to them, at 2:00 pm THAT SAME DAY, the women's room was again closed for cleaning.

I have shared this theory with a select few fellow doc reviewers, most of whom tend to be on board.

Because if anyone could get away with smoking pot on the job, it's janitors.  They have all the cleaning supplies, including heavy-duty air fresheners and other abrasive chemicals.  They know how the air vents work, and hence how to stop them up.  And most importantly - no one argues with the bright yellow "closed for cleaning" sign. 

No one. 


  1. I propose an alternate theory. Your bathroom could be the designated "nap" bathroom. Where the janitor puts the sign out knowing it is not a heavily frequented bathroom, and takes an hour long snooze.

  2. I just hope they're listening to Billy Joel's song about smoking in the boys' room while they're in there.

  3. Alexandra - agreed

    Alex - I would agree, except (a) there's no where very comfortable to sleep in there and (b) the cleaning breaks, though frequent, only seem to last 15-20 minutes. I guess it could be power-naps, though ...

  4. Ever considered that maybe the Janitor just has some bowel problems and wants some privacy while he/she handles this embarassing issue?

  5. Oh please, let it be pot-smoking ...