I love pop music, and pop music loves me. It loves you too, baby, and you know how I know?
Every song is about you. Yes, you.
It may be difficult to believe, but the girls shrieking at a NKOTB concert, “Joey wants to be my boyfriend!” aren’t too far off the mark. He does want to be your boyfriend—as do Donnie, Jordan, Jonathan and Danny. How much clearer can “While the DJ play that single, single, just pretend that I’m your man tonight” get?
And it’s not just commitment you can get out of music, but testaments to your physical beauty.
“Man, that thing you got behind you is amazin’.” Is that not the modern-day equivalent to “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” We all know Shakespeare was an ass man.
How can you miss the passion in a song that makes “crazy” an adverb? “I been missing you crazy … Damn those sweet memories! … Not only does your body bang, but I miss the conversation too … Where we used to park and did ‘all those things’….”
“All those things.” Euphemism at its finest.
Or the social commentary Cobra Starship—of Snakes on a Plane fame—provides when it describes a bar scene with the line “You were hanging in the corner with your five best friends” in “[I Make Them] Good Girls Go Bad.” It’s true, we do travel in packs. Kris, Hailey, Alli, Artemis, Shannon, Brittany, Jessica, April, Holly, Laura, et.al.—it may be time we end this co-dependence.
And sure, someone should probably let Taylor Swift know how Romeo and Juliet really ends. (Hey, she was on tour, and home schooling is hard!) But can anyone think of a better break-up line than “It’s just too bad you’ve already had the best days of your life?” And KELLIE PICKLER came up with that.
Pop music. The great equalizer.