Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Tankin' it

So, if on that fateful day in Tucson, Arizona, I am staring at an essay question with no earthly idea of what to write about, I want to have some back-up plans.  You know, in the absence of legal knowledge, what am I planning to write in an effort to get a pity point?  (If bar exam graders give pity points, that is.)  Or let's say I do know the answer, but am getting a little punchy in the heat of the moment.  I have to have a little joke or two to lighten things up.  

This will be an on-going project, but I have come up with two goals so far:

1. On any standing question, try to work in, "On the grounds of Brooklyn, your honor."  (Newsies.)

2. On any question where I just have no idea, write, "Only the Shadow knows."  (From The Shadow, duh.)

1 comment:

  1. Maybe just write "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!" and walk away from the essay.

    Or maybe create some crazy hypothetical involving Peter Plaintiff, Debbie Defendant, Whitacre, Blackacre, Greenacre, Purpleacre, and Antonin Scalia.

    Plot it out, have a dramatic shift half-way through, fill it in with some snappy dialogue and one-liners, and make sure to climax right around the end while allowing your essay grader time to fully grasp your genius.

    Whatever you do, don't write a Sopranos essay that just cuts to black!